Letters From Quinn
by huntinglily
Summary: A week after Quinn Fabray dies, letters begin to show up on the doorsteps of her friends and family, all holding a different request. Her final words to them will go on to change their lives in ways none of them could have imagined. More characters included than listed.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note - This idea has been in my head since reading Sisterhood Everlasting by Ann Brashares. Prompt credit goes to her and the book, and all Glee characters belong to Fox and the show.**

**A few disclaimers, PLEASE READ to avoid confusion - This story takes place a year after Finn dies. The primary characters are all 20 or 21. In my world, Quinn and Puck gave Beth to Shelby, but never attempted to get her back like they did on the show. Nothing ever happened between Puck and Shelby.**

**This is, for the most part, completely AU. Mentions of canon story lines from the show will be made but most of this spawns from my own head. **

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Prologue<p>

"You sure you want to do this?"

Quinn closed her eyes and nodded. When she opened them again, Puck was gazing at her with tears falling silently down his face.

"Puck," she chastised gently. "We said no tears."

"Fuck that!" he said stubbornly, wiping his eyes as more tears continued to fall.

Quinn smiled sadly and shook her head. She held out her hand to him.

"Come here."

Puck walked over and sat down on the small hospital bed with a heavy sigh.

"I don't know if I can do this, baby mama."

She reached over and smacked his head, earning a scowl from him.

"You _can_ do this, and you will _not_ call me that! Not even on my deathbed."

At her words, even though they were spoken playfully, Puck felt his heart shatter. He took Quinn's hand in his own and gripped it tightly.

"You know if it was anyone else who had asked me to do this, I would've said _hell no_ and laughed in their face."

"I know," Quinn murmured quietly, nodding.

"But it's not anyone," he said. "It's you."

"It's me."

"I mean Christ, Q, they have no idea what's coming."

"I know."

"You could always just tell them now," he said desperately, hesitantly. "They would come. You know they would. There's still time."

But she shook her head like he knew she would.

"I can't, Puck. You know I can't. That's why—"

She cut off and gestured around her. Puck looked around the room at the countless stacks of letters, all addressed and organized in true Fabray fashion. He sighed.

"You're sure?" he asked one last time.

Tears filled Quinn's hazel eyes, but she didn't hesitate.

"I'm sure."

Puck brushed away her tears and kissed her forehead.

"Okay."

The blonde closed her eyes at the sensation of his touch.

"Thank you, Noah."

Puck drew back, his eyes wide.

"You've never called me Noah before."

She shrugged, "Better late than never, right?"

He squeezed his eyes shut to prevent the already-forming tears from falling. When he opened them, Quinn was smiling sadly at him again and the sight of her made him breathless.

She was forever the most beautiful girl in the world, and he was about to lose her.

He would do this for her. He owed her.

"I love you, Noah Puckerman."

"Back atcha, babe."


	2. Chapter 1

Santana was a mess.

A week ago, Quinn died and it had shaken her entire world. She couldn't eat or drink. She couldn't sleep. She could barely function. She was pretty sure at this point that if it wasn't for Brittany practically forcing food and water down her throat, she would have died by now, too.

She was an emotional train wreck and had no idea how to handle what she was feeling.

On one hand, she was angry. She was so incredibly furious at the stupid blonde for dying. She had known Quinn was sick, of course, but she didn't know how bad it had gotten. Apparently no one did, judging by the reactions of everyone who had known Quinn. It appeared as if she hadn't told anyone how sick she had gotten.

Santana couldn't for the life of her figure out why Quinn had kept this to herself. How does someone not tell people that they're dying? It didn't make sense in the Latina's mind.

So yeah, she was angry. Really fucking angry.

But on the other hand…on the other hand, she was shattered. She was wrecked. She was destroyed and broken and part of her wished Brittany would stop making her eat because dying would probably less painful than having to live knowing that Quinn was gone forever.

Santana got her first letter exactly a week after the blonde's death.

Everyone had come back to Lima for the funeral. Santana was sitting in her parents' house, in her old room, staring blankly at the wall like she did so often these days when the doorbell rang.

Listlessly, she made her way downstairs and opened the door to yell at whoever was out there. However, no one was at the door and she rolled her eyes.

Little kids never learned sometimes.

However, just before she shut the door, something white caught the corner of her eye and she looked down at the doormat.

Lying on top of it was a single white envelope. Curiosity sparked, Santana leaned down to retrieve it but dropped the envelope as soon as she picked it up.

"_Whatthefuck_—"

Written on the front of the envelope was a date two weeks from that day. It wasn't the date that caused Santana to drop the envelope like it had burned her.

It was the handwriting.

_Quinn's handwriting_.

Shaking uncontrollably, Santana slowly picked up the envelope again and sat down on the porch steps. She ran her fingertips over the writing, barely grazing the paper.

A letter from Quinn, who had died a week ago. The majority of her didn't even want to know how it had gotten on her doorstep.

She read the date on the front of the envelope again and without warning, all the angry feelings she had been experiencing came flooding back to her. The date suddenly meant nothing to her. Quinn had no control over when she opened the letter.

She had no control over anything anymore.

"Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do now, Q?" she spat out loud, tearing the envelope open. "I'm reading it and there's nothing you can fucking do about it."

_Santana,_

_When I picture you reading this, I see you sitting somewhere in the dark. Maybe it's the middle of the night – I can see you waking up and trying to shake yourself from the nightmare you feel like you've fallen into. You're probably angry, really angry. Maybe you think I can't control what you do anymore, and you're right. I know for a fact that no matter where you're reading this, you've opened at least a week before the date on the front of the envelope said. It's okay; I planned for that._

By the end of the first paragraph, Santana was crying.

Of course Quinn had planned for her to open the letter early. They had been best friends for more than 15 years. There wasn't much Santana could get past the blonde, even after Quinn was gone.

_My death is going to hit everyone but out of everyone, I know it will hit you and Puck the hardest. I'm worried about everyone, but thinking about what this will do to the two of you knocks the air out of my lungs. _

_S, I know my words don't mean much now, but I am so very sorry that you have to go through this. As if losing Finn wasn't heartbreaking enough…now you've all lost me and I am so, so sorry._

_I remember the very first time I met you. It was the first day of kindergarten, and I was scared out of my mind. You know better than anyone that for my entire life, I've been told that I'm beautiful. My sister told me that morning, before walking into school, that I had two choices – sink or swim. I could be scared and let the kids at school walk all over me, or I could use my looks and perfected Fabray charm to gain power. As we all very well know, I chose the latter._

_I walked into the classroom that day and took in what I saw – rows of desks filled with smiling, excited children. Everyone was talking, already making new friends, and it made me feel sick. I didn't know how to do that. So I stood there in the doorway until my eyes landed on a tiny, tan girl in the back of the room. It was you, and you were alone. I seized the opportunity. _

_As I walked up to you, your head shot up and your dark eyes flashed. _

"_If you're mean to me, I'll hit you," you said to me._

_I drew back in both surprise and slight alarm. "Why would I be mean to you?" _

"_I don't know," you shrugged. "You look mean." Even at age five, you never had a filter – you were never afraid to call me out._

"_I'm not going to be mean to you," I told you, and took a deep breath. "I want to be your friend."_

"_What makes you think I want to be your friend?" you shot back, still wary._

_I looked around the room before meeting your watchful eyes. "See all these people?" I asked, and you nodded. "Well, I promise none of them will be mean to you if we're friends. I can do that. I can scare them."_

_You stood there silently, taking in my offer. After several long moments, you nodded again._

"_You're pretty. Like…really, really pretty," you told me. _

_I nodded solemnly; it was something I had heard all my life._

"_I know." _

_You bore your dark brown eyes into my light hazel eyes and slowly stuck out your hand._

"_I'm Santana Lopez." _

"_Quinn Fabray," I replied, placing my hand into yours. We didn't shake. You simply squeezed my hand, and my stomach fluttered. I think that's when it hit me._

_I knew you would become my best friend. And you did._

_I was so grateful for your friendship that day, Santana, and I've stayed grateful for my entire life._

Quinn's handwriting became blurry as Santana continued to cry. Her heart ached. She could practically hear Quinn's soft, sultry voice saying the words on the paper to her. Wiping her eyes, she choked down her tears and kept reading.

_It wasn't very long until Brittany joined us, and our duo became a trio. I'll admit it – I used to get jealous of Brittany. She had some kind of hold on you that I knew I never would. Of course, you never failed to reassure me that your first loyalty would always be to me; I was your best friend. I knew that. I still know that. But I was never blind to the fact that when Britt smiled at you, your whole world lit up. _

_Our baby B is the person who's going to help you pull through this, San. She's always been the glue that holds the Unholy Trinity together. She's had a firm hold on your heart since you were five years old and she's going to be there for you. She loves you so much, S. I probably shouldn't tell you this because it will only make you feel worse, but she used to cry to me every time the two of you fought. Whether it was in grade school about a silly argument, in high school when you were in denial about loving her, or college when you were dating Dani – I can't tell you how many times I curled up with her on my bed to let her cry or how many phone calls were spent just listening to how miserable she was. She loves you and knowing that she would stand between you and the world makes it a little bit easier to leave you._

_Now, I have a huge favor to ask you, and I want you to know that you don't have to do it. I already know it's too much to ask, but you're my best friend and I can't imagine asking anyone else._

_I'm giving Puck a box of items to pass onto our daughter…our baby…my baby, Beth._

_Even after all this time, I still can't say her name or even write it, without tears welling up in my eyes._

_Anyways, the items in the box; they're dated, like your letter was, and they include things like a sixteenth birthday present, a letter for her to read when she graduates high school, a bracelet to wear on her wedding day – things like that. It's Puck's job to give them to her. He knows that. And I know he and Shelby will tell her about me._

_But it's you that I'm leaving this one with. _

_Enclosed in this envelope, along with the letter you're reading, is another envelope. _

_Open it._

Santana picked up the discarded envelope she had cast aside and pulled out another one, smaller than the first. Gently tearing it open, she pulled out the content and a small gasp erupted from her chest.

Quinn, her Quinn, smiling down at the beautiful baby girl she had so selflessly given up.

She softly touched the picture and ran her fingers over Quinn's face. Santana's heart constricted and she felt like she was being punched in the stomach.

It was all too much. The picture, the letter…

The letter!

Clutching the picture to her heart in a true moment of vulnerability – she needed to feel Quinn close to her – she picked up the forgotten letter and continued to read Quinn's words.

_As you can see, inside is a picture that Mercedes took for me. She's the only person besides me that has seen this picture, or even knows that it exists. Not even Puck is aware. _

_It was taken right after I gave birth to Beth. It was the only time I ever got to cradle my sweet baby girl in my arms. She's looking up at me with her eyes, those beautiful hazel eyes that are identical to mine, and the look on my face is one that I've never seen on my face in any other picture._

_It's a look of pure, shining love that only a mother could have for her child. It's a look that captured the few brief but precious seconds that I was a mother to my daughter before I had to give her up._

_Giving up Beth was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my entire life. It will always be that, and nothing I endured afterwards was ever as heartbreaking._

_I am about to die knowing that I'm leaving you all behind. That hurts more than I ever thought it would._

_But even this is easier than giving up my daughter was. _

Santana could barely breathe. She had stopped crying, too shocked by Quinn's words.

Quinn had never spoken about Beth. It was the one thing that the blonde had absolutely refused to discuss with anyone, even Santana and Brittany.

Reading about it, she now knew why Quinn had put up so many walls when it came to her daughter. Doing anything else would have been too painful for the blonde to bear.

Her eyes drifted back to Quinn's letter.

_Now it's time for me to tell you the truth. _

_I stayed in touch with Shelby. Both Puck and I did. Together, on Beth's first birthday, we went and saw her._

_She was so beautiful, San. She has Puck's dark brown hair, but my hazel eyes and facial features. Puck says she looks exactly like me, and Shelby agrees. I don't see it, though. She's too beautiful to look like me._

_That night, Puck and I decided that eventually we wanted to be part of Beth's life, if that's what she wanted. Shelby said she would support us and the three of us made a plan. We were going to wait until Beth's 13__th__ birthday to meet her for real. Until then, Shelby would tell her about us and send us pictures and updates. We'd meet her when she was 13 and she'd get to decide for herself if she wanted to continue to have us in her life._

_That was the plan, until I got sick._

_After that, things changed. I knew I was going to die, and I needed to see Beth one more time, hold her one more time, before I was gone. So I called Shelby, told her everything, and she brought Beth to the hospital to see me._

_She's five years old now, San, and god she is so gorgeous already._

_She knew who I was. She walked into the room holding Shelby's hand, crawled up onto the bed, pointed at me and said, "Quinn."_

_I swear, S, my heart almost stopped._

_I responded in the only way I knew how to; the only way I could at that point._

_I pointed back at her and said, "Beth." _

_She nodded seriously and pointed at me again._

"_Mommy Quinn."_

_So once again, I pointed at her and answered, "Baby Beth."_

_That time, she shook her head._

"_Big girl Beth."_

_I shook my head back._

"_Baby Beth. Always my baby Beth."_

_After a pause, she nodded again and gave me a shy smile. She may look exactly like me, facially, but she has Puck's perfect, even, dopey smile._

_I smiled back, and she made her way into my lap. Resting her head on my chest, she took my hands in hers and wrapped my arms around herself. Her body relaxed into mine as she let out a content sigh._

_I was holding my baby again._

_I can't tell you how long we stayed in that position. Eventually, we both fell asleep and yes, Puck snapped a picture before waking us up. The three of us sat on my bed for ages. Beth made us laugh with her stories about preschool. She and Puck both fawned over how pretty I am and made me blush. Beth and I played with Puck's Mohawk, making her giggle. _

_For a brief moment in time, we felt like a family. We were her parents and she was our perfect thing._

_Finally, Shelby came back into the room with a regretful look on her face._

"_It's time to go, sweetie," she said to Beth, with a sad smile._

_Beth vehemently shook her head, clutching me. I look at Shelby and she nodded and I wrapped my arms around my little girl._

"_Beth, I need to say something important. Can you listen to me?"_

_She nodded._

"_I'm sick and I'm not going to get better. I won't be able to see you again after today."_

_At that, she whimpered and I almost lost it. But I choked down my tears and smiled for her._

"_I am so happy that I got to spend the day with you. I want you to know that no matter what happens, I will always be here for you, even if we can't be together. Don't ever forget that. I love you so much."_

_Beth pulled away from me to look at my face. Her eyes – my eyes – were filled with tears as she reached out to touch my cheek._

"_I love you, Mommy Quinn."_

_I pulled her back into me and as we hugged, I closed my eyes and held her for the last time._

"_You will always be in my heart, Baby B."_

Santana had to look away from the letter again before reading anymore. Never before in her entire life had she felt such a soul-crushing sadness.

Finally, after all this time, she knew the truth about Beth.

_The night of Beth's first prom, I want you to give this to her. Whether it's by mailing it along with a letter or giving it to her in person, though I hope it's the latter, I want you to give this picture to Beth._

_She's going to look so beautiful San, and I want her to have a tiny piece of me with her on her prom night. You of all people know how much prom always meant to me, and not for the reasons that everyone thinks. For me, winning Prom Queen was so much more than a cheap plastic crown and a dance in the spotlight with whoever my King was. It was about carrying on the tradition that my sister and mother and grandmother had previously set for me. It was about making my family proud, even after they kicked me out. It was one last night that I could be Daddy's little princess again and be the perfect daughter he always wanted me to be._

_I want you to give this picture to my daughter and tell her that I will be watching over her with pride. I want you to tell her that I would never have expected from her what my parents expected from me – she is already perfect. No matter what, I will always be proud of her. The thought that I can't watch her grow up is ripping my heart out and tearing it apart._

_But I can be there for her on her prom night, through you. As my best friend and the person who knows me better than anyone in the world, I'm asking you to please do this favor for me. Please, S. _

_I'm asking Brittany to take care of you after I'm gone, and I know she will. But I'm asking you to take care of Beth and be there for her to turn to when she needs someone who isn't Shelby – someone who understands. You understand me, San. By default, you already understand Beth better than most people ever will._

_Obviously I can't force you to do these things. But I do hope you at least take them into consideration, S. It would mean so much to me, and I can die happily knowing that the people I love most in this world are going to be taken care of…yourself included, but Britt's got that one covered. _

Santana smiled through her tears.

"I promise I'll be there for her, Q," she whispered. "No matter what it takes, I will be there for your little girl."

"_Finding new ways to hurt each other is what we're good at."_

_I used to read that quote and think of you, and our friendship. It's an understatement that we've been through the ringer together. High school would have been so much easier if I had had you by my side the entire time. One of my biggest regrets is letting you go to easily. It always will be._

_But you came back to me and when you did, I vowed to never let go of you again. Maybe you think that my death is me breaking that promise. Maybe you're right. But this letter and the letters to come are my way of keeping the promise alive._

_I'll never let you go, Santana. Please don't let me go, either._

"_Because once upon a time, we were best friends. And, yes, there's a lot of bad stuff in between. But none of that matters right now, okay? You need me, I'm there. Anytime, any place, anywhere."_

_That's us, S. No matter what._

_I love you._

_Always, Q_

Finally, Santana reached the end of the letter. Setting it down next to the picture of Quinn and Beth, she walked out onto her front lawn and sat down in the grass. Leaning back until she was lying down, she gazed up at the perfect white clouds in the bright blue sky.

No tears fell from her eyes as thoughts of Quinn danced through her head. She had no idea how long she stayed in that position before she felt another person laying down next to her.

She turned her head and was met with the sweet blue eyes of Brittany. The blonde smiled softly at Santana as she took her hand and laced their fingers together.

"I got a letter from Q," Santana said, and Brittany nodded. She didn't look surprised at all.

"I know. I got one, too."

Santana nodded and fell silent. She and Brittany looked up at the sky for several minutes before the Latina spoke again.

"Do you think we'll be okay?"

Brittany met her gaze and smiled again.

"Of course we will. Q wouldn't have it any other way."

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><p><strong>Reviews are always appreciated. Next chapter will be up soon. <strong>


	3. Chapter 2

**Thank you to those who have read and reviewed so far.**

**Author's Note - to clarify, in this story, Rachel and Finn never attempted to get married in high school and Quinn never had her accident. **

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><p>Brittany wasn't at all surprised when she received a letter from Quinn a couple days after the blonde passed away. Quinn was always one for making sure everything was perfect; it didn't come as a shock to Brittany that Quinn continued to be a perfectionist ever after she was gone. Of course she had to make sure everyone would be okay after she died.<p>

Obviously, she had been sad when she received the news about her best friend. Brittany had been friends with Quinn since they were five years old; together, the two blondes and Santana had formed an incredibly tight trio.

Brittany knew she was different than other people. She had always known. Reading, writing, math…it had all seemed come so easily to the other children in school, whereas Brittany would spend hours pouring over her homework, not comprehending the words and numbers. Santana and Quinn were the two people who had never once questioned her academic abilities. They helped her study and made sure she was never too far behind them. She would never be able to thank them enough for that.

Besides, Brittany wasn't too upset about her struggles in school. She was a dancer at heart, and she knew that would be what she did for the rest of her life. Never mind not being able to multiply big numbers. She could nail a flawless triple pirouette without blinking an eye, and that's all that mattered to her.

Though they were the same age, Brittany has always viewed Quinn as the older sister she never got to have. Though Santana was her real protector, fiercely shielding Brittany from all the hurt in the world, Quinn had her own quiet way of making Brittany feel safe.

That said a smile blossomed Brittany's face when she reached into the mailbox and pulled out the white envelope with her name written in Quinn's handwriting on the front.

Plopping down happily and leaning against the post of the mailbox, she carefully opened the envelope and began to read Quinn's letter.

_Baby B,_

_First of all, let me just say how incredibly sorry I am that I'm gone and you have to pick up the pieces of the messes I'm leaving behind. Sometime I worry that it will be too much for you to handle. But then again, you've always been a lot stronger and smarter than I have. I know you'll be okay._

_Since the second you first smiled at me in kindergarten, you have been a constant source of happiness for me. If Santana is my hurricane, crashing through my life and always bringing with her a storm of emotions, you are the ever-calm eye of the storm, providing a sense of familiarity and stability. Brittany, you have been like home to me since we were five years old. You make me feel safe, and you are forever the most comforting person in the world to be with._

_One of my favorite memories of us is from third grade. Do you remember?_

Brittany laughed delightedly. She immediately knew exactly what memory Quinn was talking about. It had always been one of her favorites, too.

_I was having a bad day because things weren't going great at home – were they ever back then? I was sitting away from all the other kids during free time in the classroom because I just wanted to be alone. _

_Of course you, never one to ignore me, came up to me immediately after noticing. I even remember what you were wearing…that bright blue sundress that so perfectly matched your sapphire eyes._

"_What's wrong, Q?" you asked me, clearly concerned. _

"_Nothing," I replied, wanting you to leave me alone. "I'm just sad."_

"_Why are you sad?" you pressed on, not giving up. You've never once given up on me._

"_Because I feel like it."_

"_Why do you feel like it?"_

"_Because I just do," I snapped, tired of the conversation going around in circles._

_You took in my snarky response and wrinkled your nose._

"_Well no offense, Q, but that's super weird. Why be sad when you could smile?"_

_My eyes met yours and you gave me the sweetest smile I'd ever seen and I started to cry because never before had anyone shown such simple care towards me._

_You, of course, were horrified by my reaction._

"_Oh my god! I'm so sorry, Quinn, I didn't mean to make you cry!" And with that, you immediately started to cry, too._

"_Why are you crying?" I asked brokenly through my tears._

"_I don't know," you sniffled, as your own tears went down your face._

_We gazed at each other's tear-stained cheeks and sad eyes and all of the sudden, I started to giggle. Your eyes widened as my laughter grew stronger and then you started to giggle, too. Before I knew it, we were both collapsed on the floor, laughing so hard we could barely breathe. _

_Santana rushed over to make sure we were okay and stood there confused as we continued to laugh, not able to get any words out. Finally, she threw her hands up and pronounced us hopeless before going back to her game of monopoly with the kids she had been playing with._

_I can't tell you how many times I've been sad and I've thought of that memory and your words and smiled. You always have been and always will be my sunshine, Baby B. _

Brittany smiled down at the letter, happy tears in her bright blue eyes.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," she sang softly to herself. "You make me happy, when skies are gray…"

She closed her eyes and let the tears fall. She felt the sun beating down on her, warming her skin. A light breeze blew by and Brittany could have sworn she caught a hint of Quinn's sweet, familiar scent.

"You get to be my sunshine now, Q," she said softly, before turning her attention back to the letter.

_I am so worried about Santana. You and I know better than anyone else how vulnerable she really is. She tries to be so strong all the time, but she keeps her real feelings bottled up inside. My death, this whole situation…it's going to wreck her, Britt. I picture her shutting down, you trying to comfort her, her not responding and my heart breaks._

_I know I don't have to ask because you'll do it anyways, but please take care of S for me._

_If you could just check in with everybody else once in awhile, especially Rachel and Puck and…Beth, that would be an immense comfort to me. I know it's unfair of me to ask so much of you, but I see you handling this whole ordeal the best. You'll be sad, of course, but I know you'll be okay enough to make sure everyone else is, too._

"I'll take care of them, Q," Brittany murmured. "I promise.

_Speaking of Beth, my second Baby B because you will always be first, I'm sure it will come as no surprise to you that I stayed in touch with Shelby regarding her. In fact, I wouldn't be shocked in the slightest if you already knew that. You have always known things that the rest of us can't seem to catch onto. _

_I have a favor to ask of you concerning her. If you're up to it and if Shelby says it's okay and if Beth wants it, I want you to give her dance lessons. You are such a bright light in the darkness, Britt. I want Beth to grow up learning not only how to dance from you, but how to love as purely and simply as you do. Even if she doesn't want the dance lessons, though I for some reason have a feeling she will, I'd love for you to be a presence in her life._

_Her sixth birthday is coming up, you know. It's the first of countless life events that I'm going to miss. That knowledge is crushing me, but knowing that she'll have you and S and Puck and the others I've asked to keep an eye on her is comforting. She's going to grow up surrounded by nothing but love and that's all I've ever wanted for her._

Of course Brittany had known that Quinn stayed in touch with Shelby. That's why the blonde never spoke about her baby; she didn't want anyone figuring it out before she was ready to tell them.

But Brittany had always been able to tell. The very few, rare times Quinn had mentioned Beth, her eyes had lit up and somehow Brittany just knew that Quinn was a part of her daughter's life.

Her heart fluttered excitedly at the thought of getting to meet Beth and teaching her how to dance. It would be like having a little Quinn around.

Brittany smiled knowingly. This was Quinn's way of keeping herself in her friends' lives – through Beth.

They weren't losing Quinn, after all.

_I have so many favors to ask of you, Britt, and it's so unfair of me to do that to you._

_I'm worried about Puck. He pretends to be so tough, but he's almost as broken as I am on the inside. Growing up with Noah Puckerman was a challenge, no doubt. But it was such a blessing at the same time. I got to watch him grow into a man, and we all saw how much he changed after Beth was born._

_The only way I can even begin to describe my relationship with him is forever. No matter how many other people we saw or experimented with, Puck and I have always seemed to have a way of finding our way back to each other. Maybe it's because of the tie we feel to Beth. Maybe it's because once you go through something like we went through together when we gave her up, you're connected to that person forever._

_Puck is my forever boyfriend._

_That said I'm worried but not too worried. Losing me is going to be so hard for him. First he lost Finn, his best friend. And now he's losing me, his girl. I'm scared about how he's going to react; how he's going to take it. But at the same time, I know he's going to be okay. He has Beth to live for. He has you and the others to keep him grounded. But still…if you'd keep an extra eye on him for just awhile, I would appreciate it._

Brittany nodded to herself. She knew that Quinn and Puck had always loved each other. They were like two pieces of a puzzle – they fit together.

_I have one more favor to ask right now, B._

_I tortured Rachel Berry relentlessly for our first two years of high school. You know that. And once again, I wouldn't be at all surprised if you already knew why. But I'll tell you anyways, just in case you don't know. _

Brittany's smile grew – she knew was what coming. She had known for a long time.

_I love Rachel._

_At the start of junior year, I found her in the bathroom after she got slushied. When she turned at the sound of the door opening and saw that it was me, the look in her eyes killed me. She didn't look mad or hateful or at all how you'd expect a person to look after being pelted with flavored, icy slush._

_She didn't look any of those things. She just looked sad._

_As I stood there looking at her, covered in cherry slushy, my heart broke. I looked into her sad brown eyes until I couldn't take it anymore, and I kissed her. I locked the bathroom door, walked right up to her, cupped her face in my hands, and kissed her._

_You're smiling, aren't you, B._

A happy giggle escaped Brittany lips.

"You know I am, Q."

_Her lips were so soft and she tasted like artificial cherries. She wrapped her arms around my waist as I tangled my fingers into her wet, sticky hair and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss._

_It was perfect._

_When I finally pulled away, I took in her pouty, assaulted lips and dark eyes and I started to cry._

"_I'm so sorry," I choked out, tears running down my face. _

_She pulled me back in and brought our faces close together. Our lips were barely an inch apart._

"_I'm not," she whispered, before gently pressing our lips together in the sweetest, softest kiss I had ever felt._

_After that day, we spent countless afternoons in her room, swapping gossip about school, plans for the future, and lazy kisses. The only people who knew about our little relationship were Rachel's dads. Both they and Rachel understood why I couldn't be public about her and I, and to my surprise, Rachel never pushed me on it. She wanted to keep it a secret just as much as I did._

_Rachel's house became our safe haven. We went on secret dates, driving past the city limits of Lima to small restaurants and hidden parks. It was exciting and daring, sweet and simple. It went on for the majority of that year, before we ended things._

_Our break-up was completely mutual. We loved each other, but we had other things hat deserved our full focus and attention. Come senior year, Rachel would be busy with NYADA auditions and plans for New York, while I would need time to perfect my application for Yale._

_Our last date was perfectly bittersweet. _

_We drove to our favorite park – you have to take Santana there, they have a pond with ducks – and walked through it, holding hands and staying quiet. Words weren't needed. I was sad, but not heartbroken. We had always known it wouldn't last forever. Ending it was the right decision, and I was grateful for the time we had spent together. _

_As we walked through the park and around the pond, Rachel sang softly to me. Sometimes I joined in, other times I hummed along with the melody, and sometimes I simply listened to her sing._

_Before we left, I gave Rachel a necklace. Two charms hung from the delicate golden chain – a miniature red and white pompom and a tiny gold star. Our relationship forever represented._

"_With this necklace, I, Quinn Fabray, thank you for the past 9 months of happiness. I treasure the time we have spent together. And I promise to never forget."_

_Tears filled Rachel's sweet brown eyes. She looked around for inspiration and her eyes lit up when she found it. Running over to a nearby rose bush, she picked one of the flowers and brought it back to me. It was a perfect red rose._

"_With this flower, I, Rachel Barbra Berry, thank you for the past 9 months of happiness. The memories we have created will never escape my heart. I love you, Quinn, and I always will."_

_I placed the necklace in her hand as she gave me the rose. We sealed our final moments together with a tearful but smiling kiss before driving home._

_As you know, Rachel went on to fulfill her dreams at NYADA after we graduated and I took off to Yale. We kept in touch and stayed close friends. She fell in love with Finn again. I eventually found my way back to Puck._

_But I never have and never will forget the brief love we shared._

_I once promised Rachel that I would send flowers to her before every performance that I couldn't be at. I can't do that anymore._

_If it's not too much to ask, which I know it is, I'd like you to send Rachel a single red rose the night of each debut she has. I have no doubt she'll be in countless shows, movies, maybe more. Whether it's an opening night, movie premiere, or album debut party, she deserves to know that I'm still thinking about her and that I'm still proud._

_She'll know that they're from me._

Brittany wiped more happy tears from her eyes. Of course she would send Rachel the roses.

She had known for a long time that the only reason Quinn was so mean to Rachel was because she secretly loved her. She saw the looks the blonde through the tiny diva when she thought no one was looking.

Finally getting confirmation that the two girls had, in fact, shared a small relationship made Brittany's heart ache with pride for Quinn.

_Thank you so much for being there for me for so many years, B. I can't tell you how much your smiles have meant to me. You have helped me get through so much and I am so sorry I have to leave you all behind._

_One of the only things that make this easier for me is the knowledge that you will be there to take care of the people I love. You'll all be okay. I know you will._

_Brittany, you have a heart as big as the sun and I am so thankful that you let me into you life. I don't have the words to tell you how truly special you are._

_I love you, little duckling. You will always be my Baby B. _

_Love, Q_

_P.S. I'm almost positive that Santana opened her letter today, which means she disregarded the date I wrote on the front of the envelope. Forever our devil._

Standing up and folding Quinn's letter, Brittany blew a kiss into the clouds.

"I love you too, big sis Q."

She put the letter inside the house and put on a pair of flip flops. As Brittany made her way to Santana's house, a few blocks away, she smiled to herself.

They would be okay.

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><p><strong>I hope you've enjoyed it so far. Reviews are always appreciated. Chapter 3 should be up soon. <strong>


	4. Chapter 3

**Thank you for the follows and reviews I've received so far. All are welcomed and appreciated.**

**Author's Note - In this story, I've created my own version of what happened when Quinn got pregnant, how she told her parents, who she stayed with, etc.**

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><p>When Rachel received the news about Quinn, she felt wrecked.<p>

It was like someone had punched her in the stomach with an iron fist. She temporarily forgot how to breathe and it was only collapsing into a heap on the floor that brought her back to her senses.

She had sucked in a deep, shuddering breath and proceeded to sob.

Quinn, _her_ Quinn, her forbidden love, once-in-a-lifetime romance was dead.

She was gone, and Rachel would never see her again.

She would never see that soft smile or kiss those pouty lips or hear that breathy voice or run her fingers through that silky blonde hair again. It had been a long time since her and Quinn had ended their relationship, but she had never forgotten it and a part of her would always belong to the blonde.

As soon as her flight landed in Lima and her fathers took her home, she drove herself to Puck's house and threw herself into his arms. They had cried together for hours.

"Noah," she choked out finally, her own voice sounding strange to her after staying silent for so long. "I feel like part of my heart has been ripped out and destroyed."

Puck remained silent, staring at the floor.

"Noah?"

Nothing.

"NOAH!" Rachel cried out, beginning to sob hysterically. He finally turned to her, and the look on his face was one that Rachel would never forget.

His eyes were red. His face was streaked with tears. But his expression was dead. There was no emotion.

"She's gone," he whispered, a storm of emotion blowing through his eyes and his face finally breaking into the most unbearable sadness Rachel had ever seen.

She had spent the night with him. Together, they lied on the bed and held hands. Never sleeping, they went back and forth between crying and comforting each other.

The funeral was awful.

A week after tragedy struck, Rachel got her letter.

She had been out on a walk, hoping for distraction. When she returned to her house, there was a white envelope with her name written on it in Quinn's handwriting.

She almost collapsed again.

With trembling hands, Rachel picked up the envelope and took it inside. She stumbled her way into her room and sat down on the bed, not knowing what to think.

She was terrified to open the letter.

But she had to.

Slowly, Rachel tore open the envelope and taking a deep breath, she began to read.

_Rachel, my shining little starlet,_

_Once upon a time, I hated you. Throughout freshmen and the majority of sophomore year, I relentlessly tortured you. I ordered football players to throw slushies in your face, I christened you with vile nicknames, and I threw insults your way like poison darts, all purely out of spite. I was the head cheerleader, the head bitch in charge, and you were nothing but another loser who was blocking my path to popularity._

_Right? Isn't that how the story goes?_

Rachel was immediately thrown back into freshmen year. She closed her eyes and could so perfectly picture Quinn parading down the hall, flanked by Santana and Brittany, all clad in their Cheerio uniforms.

Quinn was right. They had hated her. Always.

_Not right._

_Wrong._

_So incredibly wrong._

Never mind.

_Do you know why I was so awful to you, Rach? I know I've mumbled sorry excuses for my behavior in the past and you've just brushed them all away, saying you've forgiven me, but it's high time you knew the truth – do you have any idea why I hated you for so long?_

_Well, let me enlighten you on something, Rachel Berry. Contrary to very popular opinion and belief, I have never once in my life hated you. To be completely honest, I think I loved you from day one. I've always had a bad habit of wanting the things I can't have, and I absolutely could not have you._

_Despite how many times I said it, though more to convince myself than anyone else, I didn't hate you, Rachel._

_I never have._

_That said I despised what you had. I hated the things you had that I didn't._

_You had self-confidence, whereas I had a pretty girl mask that covered up how insecure I really was. You were comfortable enough in your own skin to love yourself, whereas I loathed and hated who I was._

_But most of all, you have the one thing in the world I knew I could never had; no matter how badly I wanted it._

_A family._

_You had two loving, adoring fathers who tried their hardest to protect you from all the hurt in the world. I had an older sister who was bitter and jealous, a father who abused me, and a mother that did nothing to stop him and instead chose to cower behind him._

Rachel gasped in shock, looking up from the paper and closing her eyes.

Of course, she has always secretly suspected there was something going on with Quinn's family but this…

She didn't want to read anymore. If Quinn's father had truly abused her, Rachel didn't think she could bear to read the details.

But once again, she had to.

She had to keep reading.

_For my entire life, I have been told that I am beautiful. I heard it from my mother, who trained be in the ways of beauty and taught me how to control my emotions, a.k.a. told me there were to be no emotions in the Fabray household other than happiness. I heard it mockingly from my sister, who loathed me because I was the favorite, even though I despised the spotlight and wished she could see that. I heard it from people at school, people in the streets, the men from my father's office when they came over for dinner, and the women in my mother's book club who came over every week for tea and cookies._

_But most of all, I heard about how beautiful I was from my father, who set his utmost highest expectations for me. I was raised, practically bred, to be the perfect daughter – blonde, pretty, quiet unless spoken to. I was to be Daddy's little princess and if I wasn't, there was always a price to pay._

_Let me be clear – my father did not physically abuse me. He smacked me across my face exactly once, when he found out that I was pregnant. But that was the only time and believe me, I considered myself lucky that a red cheek was the only physical mark I walked away from that revelation with._

_His style of abuse was all mental and emotional, full of sick and twisted mind games that I never wanted to play. He made me hate the person I was becoming and there was nothing I could do to stop him. My father expected perfection and nothing less._

_He used religion, "Consider yourself blessed that God created and intended for you to be perfect, Quinn."_

_He used school, "There better be straight A's on that report card, Quinn."_

_He used cheerleading, "I expect you to come home from tryouts as the new head cheerleader and lead the team to victories, Quinn," _

_For sixteen years, that was my life; nothing but expectations of perfection. If I didn't deliver, I suffered the consequences. Yelling. Screaming. Threats. Insults. Slurred rants when he was drunk. And worst of all, in my adolescent eyes, that knowledge that I was a disappointment to my father._

_That was my life, and it very nearly destroyed me._

Tears filled Rachel's eyes and spilled over.

Finally. The truth.

The horrible, awful, eye-opening truth about the Fabray household.

_So when you waltzed into my life on the first day of freshmen year, confident and friendly and from such a loving family, I knew that it was people like you who would be my downfall at school. You had a power that I didn't – you had love on your side, whereas all I had was my popularity._

_So I took it all out on you. I punished you for things that you had absolutely no control over._

_I will never be able to apologize enough for what I did to you, Rachel. I am so, so sorry._

"I forgave you a long time ago," Rachel whispered, choking back more tears.

And it was true. Rachel had always known Quinn didn't simply hate her. A person does not outright hate someone with so much vigor for no reason. Quinn had always had a reason, and Rachel had always figured that it must be a damn good one for the way Quinn treated her.

And she was right. It was a good reason.

So, in all honesty, she had forgiven Quinn before the blonde ever even apologized.

_Everything changed when I got pregnant._

_Rach, I know you've experienced a lot of pain and fear in your life, a lot caused by me, but you cannot possibly imagine the sheer terror I felt when I found out I was pregnant._

_It wasn't supposed to happen to me. I was a good Christian, a good girl, Daddy's little angel-faced Quinnie. Not only had I gotten pregnant, meaning I'd sinned and had sex with someone before marriage, but I cheated on my boyfriend with his best friend. To have to deal with all that, on top of slowly starting to realize that I had feelings for you, another girl?_

_I really and truly almost ran away, Rachel. Even having absolutely nowhere to go would have been better than facing what I knew was to come._

_I would have run away if it hadn't been for her._

_For Beth._

_As I stood on my front porch, debating on what to do with my life, I looked down at my stomach and it hit me – even though it was too early for any physical signs of pregnancy to show, I was carrying a tiny little person inside of me. A tiny little Quinn._

_I started to imagine what she would look like. I always had a feeling she would be a girl. I pictured a miniature version of myself running around. Would she have blonde hair, or take after Puck in that department? What would her personality be like? Would she want to be a cheerleader, like me?_

_And all of the sudden, it wasn't just a baby inside of my stomach – she was my baby, my daughter, my perfect thing._

_Even though I knew from the beginning that I wouldn't be able to keep her, couldn't provide her with the life she deserved, I also knew that I couldn't run away. Running away would only put her life in danger and even on that first day, I already loved her too much to risk her health._

_So I marched inside, calmly told my parents that I was pregnant, and all hell broke loose._

_My father was livid. Furious. Enraged. And those are all understatements. He slapped my face so hard it left a bruise for two weeks. The small scar under my left eye? That's from one of his nails catching my cheekbone and breaking the skin. He told me I was no longer to call myself a Fabray, because I was no daughter of his. I looked to my mother but all she did was cry helplessly. My father told me I had 30 minutes to pack up my things before he kicked me out of the house._

_You have no idea what that felt like, Rachel. No one could ever even come close to feeling how I felt when my own parents disowned me at sixteen years old and left me homeless on the street._

It was so heart-breaking. Rachel allowed herself several moments to cry in pain for the beautiful, broken, abandoned blonde.

Life had been so unfair to Quinn Fabray, and it broke Rachel's heart over and over again.

Finally, she turned her attention back to the letter.

_Naturally, I went to Finn's house first. He still believed it was his baby, and he and his mother graciously took me in. However, as soon as the truth came out, they felt no obligation to continue to provide a place for me to stay._

_I went to Mercedes next. We had never been the closest of friends, but I had seen sympathy on her face when you announced to all of glee that Puck was the father – and once again, no I'm not mad at you for that. You only did what I wasn't brave enough to do. However, Mrs. Jones wasn't a huge fan and I soon left on my own, not wanting to be a burden._

_That's when Puck brought me home to his house. Mercedes had taken it upon herself to call him after I left, and he picked me up from her front porch. We were silent in the car until finally, he spoke._

"_I may be a screw-up most of the time," he said quietly, looking straight ahead at the road as he drove. "But I promise if there's one thing I don't screw up, it will be this. I hurt you, Q, probably worse than you've ever been hurt and then I left you to deal with it on your own. I swear to God that I will never do that to you again. I will be here to support you and our daughter, no matter what happens."_

_Tears ran down his face as he spoke, and I felt my own eyes stinging. How do you respond to something like that? We both cried silently for several minutes before I found my voice._

"_So…you think she's going to be a girl, too?"_

_Puck glanced at me and I gave him a small shrug, smiling. He grinned and nodded._

"_Oh, yeah. No doubt. I can see her already – hot like her mama and a stud like her daddy. Little Jackie Daniels."_

_I gasped and smacked his arm._

"_We are NOT naming our child Jackie Daniels. That is just vile, Puck." _

_He chuckled and refused to reply. We fell into a comfortable silence before I spoke again._

"_You know we can't keep her, right?"_

_Puck was quiet for a few moments, his expression unreadable._

"_Yeah. I know," he said. "But you should know that…if things were different…timing, situation…"_

"_I know. Me, too."_

"_You, too?"_

"_Me, too."_

_True to his word, Puck never left me to deal with anything on my own ever again. He took care of me throughout the entire pregnancy and was there every step of the way the night Beth was born. You were there; you all were. So you saw for yourself how much Puck grew up that night. He was a real man, and I was so proud of him._

As she read, Rachel's heart swelled with pride for Noah Puckerman. She had always known he'd had it in him to be the man she knew she was.

_Things got hard again after we gave her up._

_I was a mess; an emotional train wreck on the path to self-destruction. I started to drink, all in an attempt to numb the pain I felt. Every second of every minute of every day, Beth was on my mind. I had thought nothing could ever hurt worse than my parents kicking me out, but giving up Beth proved that thought wrong. I have never been in so much emotional pain as I was in the first month after she was born. I drank myself into numbness more nights than I can count. _

_At one point, I remember thinking to myself, "Dying is probably less painful that this."_

_Here I am, five years later, dying. And you know what?_

_I was right. Even this hurts less._

_No one could help. No one knew what I was feeling. Not even Puck. He hadn't carried Beth inside of him for nine months. He didn't know what that was like. I refused to let anyone near me. I even lashed out at Santana and Brittany, who have been my best friends since I was five years old. _

_I'll be completely honest with you, Rachel…I was ready to die at that point._

_One thing pulled me out of my misery. Exactly one person was able to provide me with light again after I fell into a pit of darkness and despair._

_That person was you._

"Quinn," Rachel whispered, tears streaming down her face.

_The day I kissed you in the bathroom changed my entire life. I don't know why I did it; I probably never will. But for some reason, seeing your sad face after being slushied was my breaking point. It was as if finally I had something I could focus on besides Beth. I couldn't fix myself or my own problems. I couldn't take away my own pain._

_But I could take away yours._

_So I kissed you. I kissed you and you kissed me back. When I pulled away and started to cry and all you did was kiss me more, it was like I could finally breathe again._

_You saved my life, Rachel._

_As brief as it was, our love was real and true and the only thing that kept me alive after giving up Beth. I will never forget it. The memories I have with you are ones that I treasure in the deepest parts of my soul._

_A piece of my heart will always belong to you, Rachel._

Quinn's words were slowly starting to feel like a band-aid on her broken heart.

"I love you so much, Quinn," Rachel murmured. "You know you have my heart. You always have."

_I owe you my life and you owe me absolutely nothing. But I'm going to ask you to do me a favor, anyways. You don't have to do it, but I truly hope you take it into consideration._

_You know that I stayed in touch with Shelby. I know you think I don't know, but I do. I know it was you who overheard me speaking to her on the phone that day, right before Beth's second birthday._

_So, now that that knowledge is out in the open, I have a request. Beth is five now, about to turn six. As soon as she's a little older, I'd love it if you gave her singing lessons. Nothing crazy – do not turn her into a little you. I mean this in the nicest way possible, but the world only has enough room for one Rachel Berry. _

_That said she already has the speaking voice of an angel; I can only imagine what her singing voice will sound like. Teach her how to sing, Rachel. Pass onto her your love and passion for not only music, but life. I want her to grow up with your confidence, your love for yourself, your passion for the things and people you love. _

_More than anything, I wish I could give her everything that my parents didn't give me. But I can't, so I'm hoping you'll help._

Already, Rachel knew she would fulfill Quinn's request. She had seen pictures of Beth via Shelby; the little girl was absolutely beautiful, and looked so much like a tiny version of Quinn that it was scary.

Beth was their little Quinn now.

"I promise I'll be there for her, Quinn," Rachel vowed. She had a vague feeling she wasn't the only person who had received a letter from the blonde and had an inkling that similar requests were made to the others, as well. "We'll all help raise your little girl."

_There aren't words strong enough to tell you how much I admire and look up to you, Rachel. You are an inspiration. You are truly one in a million, and there will never be another person with a drive and love for life like yours._

_I'm sorry for the way I treated you for so long. I'm sorry for not being brave enough to give you the kind of love you deserved. I'm sorry for leaving you now the way I am._

_But I'm not sorry for kissing you._

_Not anymore._

_I love you, Rachel. Always have. Always will._

_Forever yours, Quinn_

Rachel finished reading the letter and was about to place it back in the envelope when she noticed there was something in it that she had missed taking out.

Upon discovering what it was, tears immediately spring into the tiny brunette's eyes.

It was a picture of her and Quinn, captured by one of Rachel's fathers. Clearly, he had been sneaking around with his camera, because it appeared as though neither girl knew the picture was being taken and Rachel had no recollection of ever seeing it before.

They were sitting together on the Berry's living room couch. Rachel had her head resting on Quinn's shoulder as she watched whatever had been on the television. Quinn was looking down at her, that signature soft smile gracing her lips.

Rachel flipped the picture over and found a message on the back.

"_Sometimes, you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself."_

_Thank you for finding me when no one else could._

_Thank you for helping me find myself._

_I love you._

"I love you, too, Quinn," Rachel said softly, gazing down at the picture and the letter. "I love you, too."

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><p><strong>I've already started the next chapter so it should be up by tomorrow.<strong>

**As always, reviews are appreciated. Hope you enjoyed it! **


	5. Chapter 4

**Hi, everyone! Sorry for the delay, life got hectic. **

**This chapter and the next are both very short because they're fillers - Puck needed to read his letter, and Santana needed to find out about Rachel and Quinn. Neither of those events required a lot of words, so you get these chapters together.**

**Author's Note - I don't know if I'm going to go into detail about Quinn's illness, but right now I'm leaning towards just keeping it vague.**

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><p>She'd written him a letter.<p>

Of course she had. He knew she would.

Puck had watched Quinn write letters to the people she loved for months. He watched as she poured over them, her pen flying across the paper, painting out the words that her illness wouldn't allow her the time to say out loud.

He could still remember the day she had called him with the news that had changed his world forever.

"_I'm sick, Puck. I'm sick and I'm not going to get better. I need you to do something for me. No one can know. Please."_

He ran the entire way to the hospital. When Quinn had told him her plan, Puck had completely lost it.

"_Let me get this straight, Q. You're dying. You are going to die. I'm the only one you told, and you want me to keep it a secret. Instead of telling everyone like a normal fucking human being, you're going to write them all letters and you expect me to sneak around and deliver them?"_

_Quinn nodded._

"_More or less."_

_Puck threw his hands up in the air._

"_Are you fucking kidding me, Quinn? Do you know how fucked up that is? Do you know what people do when they're going to die? They tell the people they love because doing this? Keeping it a secret? That's so fucking unfair to every person that loves you. No! No. I'm not doing this. This is bullshit. I'm calling Santana right now and telling her to get her ass down here because we all know she's the only one who can talk sense into you."_

_Puck angrily reached for his phone, but froze when he felt Quinn's gentle hand on his arm._

"_Look at me, Puck."_

_He forced himself to look down at her beautiful hazel eyes, shining with unshed tears._

"_Please," she whispered._

_No. He couldn't do this. There was just no way in hell._

_But as he gazed into Quinn's wrecked eyes, he felt tears of his own streaming down his face._

_She looked so broken and so fucking small._

_His heart shattered._

_And he said yes._

Now, months later, she was gone. Quinn, his forever girl, was gone.

But she had written him a letter.

Quinn had painstakingly organized her letters into boxes, each marked with a specific date of delivery. Puck found the letter with his name on it at the bottom of the box, after leaving letters with Santana and Brittany and Rachel.

Of course. Even though he'd told her countless times she didn't need to write him one, she had done it anyways.

Typical Quinn.

Taking a deep breath, Puck opened the letter and began to read the words, all written in that all-too-familiar handwriting.

_Puck,_

_I know I promised I wouldn't write you a letter because you told me you didn't need one, but tough. I have a lot to say to you that you never allowed me to say out loud. Every time I tried to start, you cut me off and told me sweetly that you didn't need to hear my thanks or apologies. _

_But you do, Puck. You so do._

He could feel tears stinging his eyes. This was exactly why he hadn't wanted a letter.

_Don't worry; I'll keep it short and sweet. I saw how big your eyes got when you saw how long some of the letters were that I wrote. I won't make you concentrate for that long._

He choked out a laugh.

She knew him so well.

"_Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.__"_

_This is us, Puck._

_What we did the night I got pregnant was irresponsible. According to our faiths, it was sinful. It was stupid. It was reckless. It was an accident._

_But above all, it was irrational._

_Finding out I was pregnant was so painful. It meant I had gone against my religion. I had not only slept with someone before marriage, but I had cheated on my boyfriend with his best friend. I hurt Finn. I hurt my family. I hurt our friends._

_And I hurt you, Puck. And that is something I will regret and feel wrecked about for the rest of my life._

_I let people believe the baby was Finn's. It was the only thing I thought could make my awful situation somewhat better, because even though I was sixteen and pregnant, at least I hadn't cheated on my boyfriend, right? No one got hurt._

_Wrong._

_Every time I looked into your eyes before the truth came out, I saw how hurt you were. It cut me open like knives and left me to bleed._

_I am so sorry I shut you out, Puck. I've never regretted anything more than I regret hurting you the way I did._

"I forgave you a long time ago, Quinn," Puck whispered, smiling through his tears.

_But I don't regret what we did._

_As painful as the whole experience was, I do not regret sleeping with you and getting pregnant. Every ounce of pain I felt was worth it when I saw Beth for the first time._

_We created a child together. We created Beth, our beautiful little girl; our beautiful little act of irrationality. _

"I've never regretted it, either," he murmured sadly. "I should've said it out loud. I'm sorry I didn't, Q. I'm so sorry."

_I'm thankful for a lot of people in this world, Puck. _

_I'm thankful for Santana, who has been my rock, my counterpart, my heart since we were five years old. She knows me better than anyone on this earth and has never failed to put herself between me and the world. _

_I'm thankful for Brittany, who is truly an angel God blessed us with. She had always provided a sense of calm, familiarity, and stability for me. She is our sun, and we're all just planets orbiting around her. If she's okay, we're all okay._

_I'm thankful for Rachel. If we're all planets and Brittany is the sun, Rachel is our bright and shining star. She lights up my world, and the world's of people around her, with a light that can't ever be dimmed._

_I'm thankful for Shelby, the woman who took in our daughter when we couldn't provide her with the life she deserved. She will make sure Beth is loved for her entire life, and that's all I've ever wanted for her._

_I'm thankful for the glee club, for being the family I never had and always needed._

_I'm thankful for Beth, our perfect thing. She gave me a reason to live when I couldn't find one._

_But most of all, I'm thankful for you, Noah Puckerman. I'm thankful for the man you are. I'm thankful that you are the father of my child. I know you'll take care of her and give her the love that I can't._

Feeling completely destroyed, Puck closed his eyes briefly, taking in Quinn's words.

She was thankful for him.

_Quinn_ was thankful for him.

For so long, Puck had blamed himself for everything that happened between them. He had hurt Quinn so badly, and he knew that no matter what, he would feel guilty about that for the rest of his life.

But she forgave him, and she was thankful for him.

He turned back to the letter.

_You've seen me at my worst, and you still think I'm the best. Why that is, I have no idea, but you have never failed to make me feel beautiful and loved and protected, and for that, I owe you forever._

_I'm so sorry for leaving you like this, Puck. I don't know how to express how incredibly sorry I am that I can't give you the love you deserve._

_I'm sorry I can't give you forever._

_But know this, Noah. I'm your girl. I will always be your girl. Words fall short when I try to vocalize how much you mean to me and leaving the people I love is breaking my heart, but my world is full of smiles knowing that they have you and you have Beth._

_I love you, Puck._

_Forever, Quinn _

Putting the letter in his pocket, Puck stood up and walked out of his house.

He walked without a destination in mind. His feet eventually led him to the McKinley football field, where he had played with the team and Quinn had cheered with the Cheerio squad.

Climbing up the stairs of the bleachers, Puck finally sat down on the top bench and looked down at the large expanse of grass, surrounded by a track.

He took out the letter and read it again.

It didn't matter that she was gone. No matter what, Quinn was his girl.

She was his forever.

Lifting his head, Puck smiled and for the first time since he was sixteen, he felt completely at peace.

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><p><strong>As always, reviews are appreciated.<strong>


	6. Chapter 5

**As stated before, this chapter and the last were short fillers. The next chapter will be longer.**

**Author's Note - I do feel the need to apologize to all the people who have reviewed so far, because the majority of you have claimed to cry while reading! This is a sad story right now, obviously, but I didn't think it was sad enough to produce tears. Thank you all so much for the sweet things you've said about Letters From Quinn so far. I heart you guys.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"Do you think that we're the only ones who got letters?"<p>

Brittany turned at Santana's question and shook her head, regarding the girl with an amused expression.

"Not for a minute, and I know you don't either, San," she said with a smile. "Come on, you know Q. She will have made sure everyone that meant something to her was taken care of. I'm sure wrote loads to Beth, at least one to Shelby, Puck must have gotten one, and I wouldn't be surprised at all if Rachel got one, too."

"Really? Rachel?" Santana's eyebrows quirked, "What makes you say that? I mean, I know her and Q were tight so maybe it's not so out-of-the-blue."

Brittany bit her bottom lip, trying not to smile.

"Remember what I told you a super long time ago, when I said I figured out why Q was always so mean to Rachel?"

Santana looked confused, and Brittany waited for the other girl's memory to click. When it did several seconds later, Santana's eyes grew comically wide.

"No way."

Brittany couldn't hold back any longer and grinned wickedly.

"Yep."

"Q and _Rachel_?"

Brittany giggled and nodded.

"Oh my god, that explains so much! Holy shit, everything makes so much sense now. The relentless bullying for so long, the totally sudden what-the-fuck best friendship, and the way they kept in touch in college…oh my god. You were right all along, Britt. Of course you were right."

"I know, San. How sweet is that?"

"Details, Britt. When was it? How long?"

"Junior year," Brittany sighed. "For basically the entire school year before they both agreed to call it off. It's so sad; San, their story is so heartbreaking."

"How did you find out?"

Brittany took Quinn's letter out of her pocket and Santana nodded in understanding.

"Can I read it? The part about Rachel?"

The blonde girl unfolded the letter and handed Santana the page that contained Quinn and Rachel's love story.

Santana read it carefully and when she finally looked up, her dark eyes were sad.

"Wow."

"I know," Brittany murmured.

"Britt…did your letter say anything about Beth?"

Brittany smiled again, her bright blue eyes lighting up.

"Q wants me to teach Beth how to dance!"

Santana nodded, more to herself than to Brittany.

"I figured as much. She…she asked me to look out for Beth; to be there for her while she's growing up."

Brittany could hear the hesitation in her best friend's voice.

"But?" she asked gently.

"But," Santana said in a quiet voice, looking down, "I don't know if I can do it. I mean, don't get me wrong – I want to. I want to be able to take care of Q's daughter more than anything in the world. But I'm so scared, Britt. I know that little girl is going to look exactly like Quinn, and I wouldn't be surprised if she acted like her, too. What if," she whispered in a choked voice, "What if it's too painful?"

Brittany's heart clenched and she wrapped her arms around Santana, pressing a feather-light kiss to the other girl's temple.

"Don't be scared, San," she said softly. "Think of it this way – we've been blessed with a beautiful little girl; a beautiful little Quinn. This is Q's way of making sure we still have a piece of her with us. We get to help raise her precious little baby."

Santana's eyes welled up with tears as she took in Brittany's words and sank further into the blonde's embrace.

"After I read the letter," she whispered brokenly, "even though part of me is terrified, I promised Q that I would protect Beth and be there for her no matter what."

"It'll be okay, San," Brittany said, stroking Santana's hair. "I have a feeling that Q asked Rachel to do the same, and obviously Puck will be a big part of Beth's life, too. We're all going to be there for each other and for Beth; I think we owe that much to Quinn."

Santana wiped her eyes and nodded, sitting up and knowing that, as per usual, Brittany was right. She offered the blonde a tiny smile, and Brittany pressed her lips gently against Santana's in the sweetest of kisses.

"To Rachel?" Brittany whispered when they broke apart, and Santana nodded.

"To Rachel."

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><p><strong>See? Painfully short. Next chapter should be up in the next couple days.<strong>

**Reviews always appreciated. **


	7. Chapter 6

**This isn't really much longer, and I'm sorry for that. But it's kind of another filler. Next chapter, the three girls will interact with Puck and finally get to meet little Beth. Sorry for the wait!**

**Thank you so much for the reviews, I love you guys.**

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><p>When Santana and Brittany arrived at the Berry household, Santana was slightly was slightly alarmed to see that the front door was wide open.<p>

"What the fuck?" she said, frowning, and turned to Brittany. "Do you think she's here? I mean, who just leaves the door open?"

Brittany shrugged and replied, "There's only one way to find out," before walking up the porch steps and entering the house with Santana trailing uncertainly behind her.

At first, it was deadly quiet – quiet enough to make Santana antsy.

"I don't think anyone's here, Britt," she whispered. "Maybe Rach left and just forgot to close the—"

"Sshhh," Brittany shushed her, a smile beginning to dance on her lips. "Listen."

Santana eyebrows furrowed and her frowned deepened as she strained her ears. Sure enough, she could hear the faint sound of snoring coming from up the stairs.

She snorted.

"Of course," she said, shaking her head knowingly. "Only Rachel would fall asleep with her front door open to the world."

Brittany laughed and tugged Santana's hand.

"Come on," she giggled. "Let's go find her."

Together the girls crept upstairs and it was all Santana could do not to sigh in exasperation at the sight of Rachel's door, covered in pink paint and gold stars. She and Brittany entered the room and were greeted with the sight of a sleeping Rachel curled up on the bed, snoring on top of a few crumpled pieces of paper.

Of course. So typical.

Santana walked across the room and gazed down at the small brunette.

"Tiny nap princess," she murmured affectionately, and Brittany smiled.

Just like with Quinn, Brittany had always known that Santana secretly liked Rachel. She had only been mean to her for so long because Santana took her orders at school from Quinn, and the blonde had always made it clear – until sophomore year – that Rachel was dirt beneath their feet and was to be treated as such.

But Brittany could tell that Santana liked Rachel. It had just taken her awhile to admit it.

She watched as Santana sat down on the bed beside Rachel's sleeping form and reached out, brushing Rachel's long dark hair out of her face.

"Rachel," Santana said softly, leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss against Rachel's forehead.

Rachel's eyes fluttered open, and she looked up at Santana in sleepy confusion.

"Santana?" she mumbled, swiveling her head and catching sight of Brittany standing in the doorway, watching them. "Brittany? What are you doing here? How did you—"

"You left the front door open, Sleeping Beauty," Santana smirked, cutting her off and Rachel scowled, giving her a light shove.

Santana laughed and Rachel crossed her arms, sticking her tongue out and refusing to drop the act until she heard Brittany start to giggle. She finally gave up and gave them a rueful smile.

"Okay, okay, so I may be prone to falling asleep on the spot and without warning," she admitted, grumbling playfully. "Seriously though, what are you guys doing here?"

The smile faded from Brittany's face.

"We both got letters from Q," she said quietly. "And—"

"And it looks like you got one, too," Santana finished for her, gesturing to the letter spread out on Rachel's bed.

Rachel nodded in understanding, her brown eyes sad.

"I figured you two would get letters as well," she murmured. "You were her best friends after all. It must seem weird to you that I got one, too."

Brittany crossed the room and joined Rachel and Santana, sitting down on the bed.

"Rach," she said softly. "Q told me about you and her, and San knows, too. You don't have to pretend and hide it anymore. It's okay."

Rachel's eyes widened.

"You both know?"

"Well, to be fair, I just found out. But Britt's known forever, she called it like the first week of ninth grade. I never believed her until she showed me the letter Q wrote to her."

"What was in the letter?" Rachel asked, her voice trembling.

Brittany wrapped her arms around Rachel.

"Your love story," she answered simply, and that was all it took for Rachel to burst into tears.

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><p>An hour later, the three girls had relocated to the Berry's kitchen. Brittany and Santana were sat at the island while they watched Rachel bustle around; recounting the relationship she had shared with Quinn.<p>

"I never knew I was even remotely attracted to girls until I saw Quinn for the first time," Rachel informed them as she pulled vegetables out of the fridge. "It had always been boys. But the second I saw her on the first day of freshmen year…wow."

Santana snorted knowingly.

"Yeah, Q always had that affect on people," she smirked. "Didn't matter if a person was gay, straight, black, white, human, or alien – nothing and nobody was immune to the Fabray charm."

"Yes, well," Rachel laughed. "Imagine how it felt to go the first fourteen years of your life thinking you were straight and then BAM – the first day of high school, you're faced with the most inhumanely gorgeous girl on the planet. Plus let's not forget, not only was Quinn beautiful, but she was also the head cheerleader, the most popular girl in school, was dating the boy I was in love with at the time, and hated me for no reason. You can understand why I was confused."

She grabbed a few bowls from the cabinet and continued to talk.

"Quinn did such awful things to me for that first year and a half. She drew pornographic, degrading pictures of me in the bathroom. She left horrible comments on my MySpace videos. She made up offensive nicknames for me, and yelled insults at me in the hallways and during class. I had no idea what was going on in my head. Why would I ever have feelings for someone who tortured me relentlessly?"

"I bet I know why," Santana muttered wickedly, "Never pegged you as the punishment type." She winked suggestively, and Brittany gently nudged her when Rachel blushed.

"Go on, Rach," she encouraged, giving Santana a look.

"Anyways," Rachel continued, glaring playfully at Santana. "Quinn calmed down a lot after she had Beth. She ceased the abuse. She was nicer to me. We were almost friends. But I _never _had any idea that she felt the same way until the day that she kissed me. It was…" she drifted off, a faraway expression in her eyes.

"What, Rachel?" Brittany asked gently, smiling.

"It was perfect," Rachel admitted. "She was perfect. She loved me. I loved her. I didn't really care that we had to keep it a secret; all that mattered was that I knew I held the heart of the head Cheerio. For a year, she was mine and I was hers…"

Rachel drifted off again, a memory playing in her mind.

"_But why, Quinn? Why can't we at least tell the people in Glee?" _

_Quinn threw up her hands, beyond frustrated._

"_Rach, you said you understood! You said you were okay with this and that you'd prefer we not tell anyone!"_

"_That's not enough for me anymore!" Rachel exploded angrily. "Quinn, I love you but I need more than stolen kisses and secret dates." _

_Quinn flew backwards, her eyes wide._

"_What…" she choked out, "What did you just say?"_

_Rachel frowned and replayed her words in her head. When she realized what she had said, she froze._

_She had told Quinn she loved her._

_She had just told Quinn Fabray that she loved her._

_They had been doing their little dance for two months now, and neither of them had ever said those three little words. _

_Until now._

"_You…you love me?" _

_Rachel gazed into Quinn's shocked, scared, emotional eyes and felt her heart squeeze._

"_I…" she said, swallowing hard, "Yes. I do. I love you, Quinn. I don't need to hear you say it back. You don't need to feel the same way. I don't—mmm."_

_Rachel's shaky words were cut off as Quinn crashed their lips together, pulling Rachel into a searing, passionate kiss. The blonde fisted her hands into Rachel's hair and Rachel moaned, wrapping her arms around Quinn's slender waist. Quinn's tongue snaked out and caressed Rachel's bottom lip before she finally slowed her kisses and pulled away from the smaller girl._

"_I love you, too," she whispered, and Rachel's heart skipped a beat._

_Quinn loved her._

"_I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry for the fight. I'm sorry about what I said. I know why we can't tell. I don't care. You are enough for me. This is enough. You are enough. I love you."_

_Quinn cupped Rachel's face in her hands._

"_I love you, Rachel," she murmured, before capturing Rachel's lips in another kiss._

_Rachel allowed herself to get lost in the feel of Quinn's pouty lips and soft caresses and suddenly, it didn't matter that no one could know about them and that they would have to stick with driving out of town for dates and stealing kisses in the school bathrooms._

_This was enough for her._

_Quinn was enough._

"Rach?"

Rachel's head snapped up at the sound of Brittany's voice. Santana was regarding her with a knowing expression and as she looked into Brittany's sweet blue eyes, she gave the two girls a small, sad smile.

"Sorry," she said softly.

Brittany shook her head.

"Don't be," she said. "Slight change of subject though; did Q say anything about Beth in the letter she wrote you?"

Rachel nodded, a shy smile creeping onto her face.

"She asked me, if Beth wants it, to give her singing lessons."

"No way!" Brittany beamed. "Really? That's so cool! She asked me to give Beth dance lessons! This is going to be way awesome; we have to talk to Puck about going to meet her soon."

Rachel laughed delightedly; Brittany's enthusiasm was infectious.

"I know! Once I got over the initial shock of the letter, I reread it and I'm tremendously excited to meet Quinn's daughter. I can't imagine what she'll look like—"

"I can."

Rachel swiveled her head and looked at Santana, who had an unreadable expression on her face.

"She has dark brown hair. Puck's hair. And his dopey smile. But her skin? Her facial features? Her eyes?" Santana shook her head. "All Quinn."

Rachel took one look at Brittany's sad eyes as she watched Santana speak and understood at once what was going on.

Santana was scared – terrified – of meeting Beth because the little girl was going to look exactly like her mother. Santana had known Quinn since she was five years old; exactly the age Beth was about to turn.

Seeing her would be like an emotional slap in the face; a cruel trip back in time to the day Santana had met Quinn.

"Santana…" Rachel murmured. "You know Beth isn't Quinn, right? She may look just like her, but this little girl is not her mother. She's not Quinn. She's just a piece of her that Quinn left behind for us to love. Forming a bond with Beth isn't going to replace what you had with Quinn."

Tears filled Brittany's eyes as she watched Rachel wrap her arms around Santana. The taller girl closed her eyes and tears slipped down her face. Brittany hugged Santana from the other side and the three girls sat their in silence, crying into each other.

Finally, Brittany released her hold on Santana and Rachel did the same. The little brunette wiped her eyes and gave her companions a watery smile.

"We have to find Puck," she said, and Brittany nodded in agreement. "He has to be there when we go see Beth."

They both turned to Santana, who gazed back at them until she finally nodded, too.

"I don't…" she choked out, "I don't know if I'm ready to do this."

Rachel stayed back as Brittany pressed a firm kiss against Santana's lips. Pulling away, she smiled at her girl.

"You are Santana Maria Lopez. You were born ready. You can do this for our best friend."

Santana's wrecked face finally broke into a smile as she gazed into Brittany's sparkling eyes. She turned and saw Rachel watching them with a smile on her face.

"Come here, nap princess."

Rachel rejoined them, and Santana kissed her on the cheek, causing the smaller girl to blush.

"Let's call Puck," Brittany suggested, smiling at the two girls. "I know this is going to be super crazy and exciting and scary, but we'll get through it together. For Q, right?"

Rachel nodded, and Santana spoke her affirmation.

"For Q."

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated. The next chapter will be up in the next couple days.<strong>

**Up next? Puck and Beth! **


	8. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the delay! I was out of town over the weekend and didn't have my laptop with me.**

**But here it is! Meeting Beth. Hope it was worth the wait.**

**Clarification - this story currently takes place during the summer; that's why none of them are in school right now.**

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><p>It was finally happening.<p>

They were meeting Beth.

A few days after the little girl had turned six, Puck called Shelby and made the arrangements. They set a date that worked for all of them, and now the moment had arrived.

Puck was both excited and anxious, as he knew he always would be when faced with seeing his daughter. He, of course, had already met Beth and was both excited and nervous to see her again. He wondered if she would remember the day they spent together in the hospital before Quinn died.

He hoped she did.

Rachel was a nervous wreck, not only about finally meeting Beth but about having to see Shleby, her own mother, interact with the woman's new child. The child she had adopted after giving up Rachel. Of course, they had reconnected after Rachel found Shelby when she was in high school and they had kept in touch from then on. But it was mostly through phone calls, emails, and texts. With Rachel in New York and Shelby in Lima, Rachel only saw her mother when she went home for holidays. Though their meetings always ended on a high note, the beginnings were always slightly strained.

For obvious reasons, things would always be tense between her and Shelby.

Brittany, predictably, was fine; she was by far the calmest. The blonde was very happy and excited that they were finally getting to meet Beth, but she was also very scared for the sake of Santana.

Brittany studied the dark-haired girl as the four of them made their way to Shelby's house – Puck driving, Rachel riding shotgun, and Brittany and Santana in the back.

Santana was emotionless. She had been extremely quiet for the duration of the car ride, save the few times she had snapped at Rachel to _"calm your tits, ay dios mio, before I ends you."_ Her face was completely unreadable, even to Brittany. Rachel kept shooting the blonde anguished glances from the front seat, darting her eyes from Brittany to Santana, and all Brittany could do was shrug helplessly.

After an agonizing 30 minutes, they finally reached their destination. Puck parked his truck in front of a moderately-sized house and turned to the three girls in the car.

"Okay, hot babes. Shelby called me yesterday to give me a heads-up about Beth."

"A heads-up?" Rachel asked, immediately alarmed. "Why? Is something wrong? Is she okay? Did something –"

"Rach," Puck said, putting his hand on her arm. "Chill. She's fine. She's perfect. Shelby was just giving me a little warning on how Beth is going to act so we know what to be prepared for."

"Oh. Okay. And?"

"Shelby said Beth is quiet. A little reserved. Super intelligent and intuitive already, hyper-aware and sensitive of everything and everyone around her. She doesn't talk unless she needs to, and when she does, we should just go with it. She might be shy, but she knows who we are – Shelby has described us all. Shelby said to just let Beth do her thing."

He pointed to Rachel.

"Don't do your huge smile, Rach, and don't go over-enthusiastic crazy on her. That's advice for all of us. Let her come to you."

"That's so Quinn."

Everyone turned to Santana at the sound of her muttered words, and both Rachel and Puck felt their eyes stinging with tears as they watched Brittany wrap her arms around Santana.

"She's not Quinn, San. No one ever will be. She's not replacing your best friend. She's just giving you another piece of Quinn to love."

Santana closed her eyes briefly, and Brittany pressed a feather-light kiss to her temple. When the Latina opened her eyes again, she nodded at her three companions.

"Let's go."

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><p>After the four young adults had walked into Shelby's house, the woman greeted them warmly. She took in their tired, anxious faces and sympathy flashed in her brown eyes that were so much like Rachel's.<p>

"I'm so sorry for all of your losses," she murmured, guiding them into the living room and gesturing for them to sit on various chairs and sofas. "I was devastated when I heard the news about Quinn. She was the bravest person I've ever known, and I owe Beth to her selflessness."

Rachel's eyes automatically welled up with tears, and Puck and Brittany both put their arms around her from where they sat on the couch, sandwiching her. Santana refused to sit and was instead standing in front of the fire place.

Shelby locked eyes with Puck and they shared a sad smile. She clasped her hands together and stood up.

"Alright well, I won't keep you waiting any longer. Beth is upstairs in her room; I'll just go get her. She's been waiting for you to arrive."

Brittany grinned, Puck felt his stomach flutter, Rachel drew in a sharp breath of anticipation, and Santana did nothing.

This was it.

Several minutes later, Shelby came back into the room holding hands with a little girl. The reactions were varied.

Puck's heart jumped into his throat as he gazed at his beautiful daughter.

Brittany beamed at the miniature version of Quinn.

Rachel's hand flew to her mouth.

Santana couldn't look at her.

Letting go of Beth's hand, Shelby turned to the child.

"Beth, this is—"

"I know who they are."

Brittany's heart squeezed. The little girl even _sounded_ like Quinn. Beth slowly walked over to her. Because Brittany was sitting on the couch, she was eye-level with the six year-old. Beth gazed into Brittany's sweet blue eyes.

"You're Brittany."

"I am. And you're Beth."

Beth nodded. "You have hair like Quinn," she said in her soft, high-pitched, crystal clear voice. "Can I touch it?"

"Of course, but Quinn's hair was a lot prettier than mine, just like yours is."

Beth reached out and gently touched Brittany's blonde ponytail, before self-consciously playing with a strand of her own hair.

"I got my daddy Noah's hair," she said shyly. Puck's heart clenched.

"You did," Brittany confirmed. "And it's beautiful. I've always loved dark brown hair."

"Quinn told me about you, I remember. She said you can dance. She said you were her first Baby B. I'm her second. Is that okay? Can we share?"

Brittany's heart broke open and she felt a wave of love for this child standing in front of her who was so very much like her Quinn.

"I may have known your mother before you were born, Beth, but you are much more important than I am. We are both Baby B, but you are always, always first," Brittany said gently. "And you were totally right about the dancing. I can teach you how to dance, if you want."

Beth nodded excitedly. "I want," she said eagerly. After a moment's pause, she once again gazed into Brittany's sapphire eyes with her own, and in them, Brittany saw a world of familiar hazel.

"Can I hug you, Brittany?"

Brittany opened her arms and the little girl stepped into them. Brittany felt happy tears stinging her eyes.

_She's so beautiful. So you. Thank you for her, Q._

When Beth finally released Brittany, she turned her attention to Rachel.

"Rachel?"

The diva was both thrilled and terrified at being addressed.

"Yes," she confirmed.

"You were my mommy's first baby. Her real baby. You look like her."

Rachel swallowed hard as she replied. "Yes, Beth, I was your mommy's first baby. I look like her, just like you look like Quinn."

Beth looked wistful. "Do I really look like her?" she asked.

"Scarily so."

"But she was so pretty," Beth sighed. "I won't ever be like her."

Rachel shook her head at the little girl. "Beth, your mother was the prettiest girl I ever met. But she was so much more than her looks. You are every bit as beautiful as she was, inside and out. I promise."

Beth looked satisfied with that answer and moved on to her next question.

"So, you're my big sister?"

Rachel blanched at that and looked at Shelby, not knowing how to react. But her birth mother gave her a nod, and Rachel turned back to Beth, giving her a sweet smile.

"Yes, Beth. I am your big sister."

Beth gave Rachel a hug before moving to stand in front of Puck.

"Hi, Noah."

Puck blinked rapidly to prevent the tears. He would never tire of hearing his name fall from his daughter's lips.

"Hi, squirt."

"I missed you. How come you didn't come visit?"

"I had to take care of Quinn. I'm sorry I didn't visit, kiddo. I promise to come see you a lot more now…now that…" Puck closed his eyes, unable to finish his sentence without choking on the words.

Beth reached out and put her tiny hand on Puck's cheek. He opened his eyes and stared Beth's sad face.

"Do you miss her, Noah?"

He swallowed and nodded. "Every single day," he choked out, and every single person in the room felt their heart shatter.

A single tear rolled down Beth's face as she gazed into her father's eyes.

"Me, too," she whispered, throwing herself into Puck's arms. He cradled his little girl as they cried together for the first time over their shared loss. Brittany felt a crushing sadness. Shelby was destroyed watching the boy and her daughter cry together. Rachel couldn't stand to watch and buried herself in Brittany's shoulder.

And still, Santana did nothing but stare into the fireplace.

Eventually, Beth detangled herself from Puck. He wiped away her tears and kissed her forehead.

"We'll be alright," he murmured to her. "She's our angel now."

"Quinn is our angel? We have an angel?"

"Yes. We have the most beautiful angel in the world."

Beth gave Puck a smile before finally walking over to Santana.

"Santana?"

They all saw Santana's back tense momentarily before the Latina finally turned and looked at the little girl for the first time.

"Beth."

Beth was silent. Then, "You remind me of my mother. You remind me of Quinn."

No one moved.

Santana spoke very softly. "That's funny, Beth, because _you_ remind _me_ of your mother. That way you look. The way you act. The sound of your voice. Everything except for your smile and your hair."

"Those are Noah's, right?"

"Yep. You got those straight from Puck. But everything else is Quinn's."

"Does that make you sad?"

Santana looked at Beth; really and truly looked at the little girl for the first time. Her eyes flew from the dark brown hair to the ivory color of her skin, from the naturally pouty lips and finally to Beth's eyes – Quinn's eyes – Santana's hazel safe havens.

"No, Beth. It doesn't make me sad. You are so beautiful and you remind me so much of Quinn. I won't lie to you; it hurts. Your mother was my best friend, and my heart is always going to be broken over losing her. But you are the blessing she left behind for us to love."

The other adults felt broken all over again listening to Santana open her heart up to the little girl.

"Can I touch you?" Beth asked.

Santana knelt down and remained still as Beth gently ran her fingers over Santana's hair, forehead, cheeks, and finally touched the spot right above Santana's heart.

"She's in there, you know. Your piece of Quinn is in your heart."

But Santana shook her head, tears filling her eyes.

"No, Beth. My piece of Quinn is standing right in front of me." She reached out and pulled Beth into a hug. Beth breathed in deeply and sighed as she relaxed into Santana's arms.

"You feel like her. You feel like Quinn. I only hugged her once, but I remember. Hugging you is like hugging her all over again."

Santana drew back slightly so that she could look into those hazel anchors. The little girl really was Quinn all over again.

"I couldn't have said it more accurately myself, baby girl."

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><p><strong>And there you have it! Next chapter will hopefully be up before I go away again this weekend.<strong>

**Reviews always very appreciated. Thanks for reading, babiieees.**


	9. Chapter 8

**Thank you so much to everyone who has left reviews. You guys are so sweet, and I always feel the need to apologize for making you cry.**

**Here's the next chapter! I busted this one out because I'm leaving town for the weekend tomorrow and won't have access to a computer. So this is what I'm leaving you with until Monday.**

**PLEASE READ: A few things, just to clarify. One, Puck has met Beth a bunch of times. But she was also very little when they met and simply hopes she remembers the day in the hospital. Two, I admit that Beth speaking so directly and in such a grown-up manner is somewhat unrealistic. However, I just perceive her as a very smart girl for her age. Plus, I spend time coaching 5/6 year-old's in soccer every week and you'd be surprised at how mature they can sound sometimes.**

**I hope you enjoy!**

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><p>It was four weeks after Brittany, Puck, Rachel, and Santana had gone to Shelby's house to see Beth. Since then, visits had become frequent. Because it was summer break and all four young adults were in Lima, they could see Beth as often as she wanted them to – which was a lot.<p>

Mondays were Puck's. Every Monday, he picked up Beth from her summer camp and took her out to eat, to the park, to a movie, etc. It was their special time together. They talked about Quinn. They talked about Beth starting first grade in the fall. She told him about dance lessons with Brittany and vocal lessons with Rachel. He took her to McKinley and showed her the football field where he had played and Quinn had cheered. Puck brought Beth a picture of Quinn at prom and in return, Beth drew him a picture of Quinn with angel wings and a halo.

Slowly but surely, Puck was starting to heal. He loved Beth fiercely.

Tuesdays were Brittany's day with the little girl. After Beth was done with camp, Brittany would take her to the local dance studio that she was assisting in over the summer. Beth, very much like Brittany, was a naturally gifted dancer. She took a special interest in hip hop, but Brittany also taught her the basics of contemporary, jazz, and ballet.

Beth adored Brittany, and Brittany felt the same. For years, Quinn had been like an older sister to Brittany, and the blonde dancer now felt herself taking on that role for Beth. The little girl had quickly got attached to the fact that their names both started with B and now called Brittany her twin.

Rachel claimed Thursdays for herself. The first time she sang for Beth, the six year-old fell in love. She was immune to the power of Rachel's voice, just like everyone else. As soon as Rachel finished singing, Beth had begged the diva to teach her how to make her voice sound like that.

So, every Thursday for the past four weeks, Rachel had taken Beth to her house and into the recording studio in the Berry's basement. She ran through simple vocal exercises with the child, and taught her songs that they had once sung in glee club, per Beth's request. The little girl already had undeniable pitch, yet was always very shy when she performed songs for Shelby and the others, which was so very Quinn.

On Saturday nights, they all got together at Shelby's house for dinner. Beth would perform whatever new dance sequence she had learned that week, and would sing a song in between the main course and dessert. She'd talk in rapt detail about whatever movie she and Puck had gone to see that week, or would show them the art project she had made at camp.

Santana was the only one who didn't spend one-on-one time with Beth. She attended the Saturday get-togethers, but had yet to spend any time with Beth in addition to that.

So, it came as no surprise to Brittany when Beth finally asked her about Santana's absence.

"Brittany?"

The tall blonde looked up at Beth from where she currently sat, stretching out her hamstring. It was a lazy Tuesday afternoon and she had just finished an hour of hip hop with the little girl.

"What's up, Baby B?"

A smile blossomed on Beth's face. The nickname that she and Brittany shared never failed to charm her.

"I love when you call me Baby B. It reminds me of Quinn."

"Yeah?" Brittany returned her smile. "It reminds me of Q, too. Now, did you need something?"

"Yes. Can I ask you something?"

"Always."

"Why doesn't Santana come see me more, like you and Rachel and Noah do?" The little girl had taken to calling Puck Noah, just like Rachel did.

Brittany had known this was coming eventually. She opened her arms up to the child.

"Come snuggle me, Baby B. Serious-talk time always requires snuggling."

Beth crawled into Brittany's lap and wrapped her arms around the taller girl's waist. Brittany kissed Beth's forehead and gave her a hug.

"Beth, you know that Q was Santana's best friend."

"Yes."

"Right; well, I'm your twin and I'm never going to be anything but completely honest with you. San doesn't spend much time with you – not yet, anyways – because she still needs time to be sad about losing Quinn. You remind all of us, but especially San, so much of Q. That's totally not your fault, because you can't help how you look and act naturally."

Brittany sighed before she continued. "I love being around you, Beth, because it's like getting to play with six year-old Quinn all over again. But it's still really hard for Santana to be around you because right now, you're still a reminder that she lost her real Quinn." She hugged Beth tighter. "But you have to know how much Santana loves you."

Beth silently pondered over Brittany's words for several minutes before finally looking up at the blonde, her hazel eyes sad.

"Sometimes I wish I didn't look so much like Quinn," she said softly. "Not because I don't want to. It makes me really happy when I look at pictures of her and imagine myself looking like that one day. But I wish it didn't hurt you all so much. Mostly Santana, but I see the way you and Noah and Rachel look at me sometimes, too. I'm sorry."

Brittany kissed Beth's forehead again and drew back to look deep into the comforting depths of the little girl's hazel eyes.

"Baby B, don't apologize. Yes, you remind us all a lot of your mother. But it doesn't hurt."

Beth raised an eyebrow at Brittany – no one knew if those were the Quinn genes or something she had picked up herself – and in that moment looked _so scarily_ like Quinn that Brittany had to blink several times before she could respond.

"Okay, no. I said I wouldn't like to you, so I won't. It hurts a little bit, but only in the sense that we miss Quinn, not because we wish she was here instead of you. It's so totally unfair that we all got to spend so much time with Q and you got so little. But that's the way the world works, and it's not anyone's fault. Trust me when I say that all of us, even Santana, are incredibly blessed that we get to be part of your life."

Beth sighed and seemed satisfied with that answer. She leaned her little body into Brittany and spoke softly, "Tell me a story about Quinn."

Brittany thought for a moment before she smiled.

"Okay, Baby B. Let me tell you about how Quinn and I became friends. She was Santana's best friend first, you know, and didn't want anything to do with me," Brittany chuckled. "But that changed pretty quickly…"

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><p><em>It was recess time for the first graders.<em>

_Brittany looked up and her eyes widened at the sight of two girls approaching her, though more in delight than fear, which is how the rest of her classmates would have reacted at the sight of Quinn and Santana. Even at five years old, they were very scary._

_She thought Quinn was super pretty, obviously, but she thought Santana was super pretty, too. She ached to be friends with the two girls._

_Santana stopped directly in front of Brittany, and the blonde's stomach fluttered._

_"Hi, Brittany."_

_"Hi, Santana!" Brittany peered around the Latina and in a shy tone of voice said, "Hi, Quinn."_

_Quinn didn't reply but nodded her acknowledgment. Santana's gaze lingered on the blonde momentarily before she turned back to Brittany._

_"Why are you sitting alone?"_

_"Oh, I'm just waiting for Mike to get out of the bathroom. We're in the middle of making up a really cool dance!"_

_"That does sound really cool, but Q and I were actually wondering if you wanted to play with us today instead."_

_Brittany's blue eyes lit up. "No way. Really?"_

_"Really."_

_"Yes! Totally, totally yes. Let me just tell Mike."_

_She ran off, whispered to Mike, who grinned at her before whispering something back. Brittany nodded excitedly at whatever he had said and then skipped back to Santana and Quinn._

_"Okay! I'm ready. What are we going to do?"_

_Quinn rolled her eyes again but Santana smiled at Brittany's enthusiasm and the blonde returned her grin._

_"Well, we switch off who gets to choose what we play and today it's Q's turn."_

_She and Brittany looked expectantly at Quinn, who shrugged._

_"I don't care. You decide."_

_There was a momentary pause before Brittany spoke. "I have a pink sparkly bouncy ball in my backpack! We could play with that."_

_Santana looked to Quinn for confirmation, as she did for everything._

_"Q?"_

_Quinn sighed, sounding bored. "Whatever."_

_Brittany's grin fell slightly. She could tell that for some reason, the crazy pretty blonde didn't like her, and that made her sad. But she wasn't ready to give up._

_"I mean, we can totally play something else if you don't want to do that, Quinn."_

_"I said I don't care," Quinn snapped, and Brittany took a step back in fear. Santana immediately put herself between the two girls._

_"Q. Stop. You're scaring Brittany."_

_Quinn rolled her eyes again. "I'm not scaring her, S. And if I am, she's a baby."_

_"She's not a baby—"_

_"No, Santana, it's okay—" Brittany tried to interject, but Santana cut her off._

_"No, Brittany! It's not okay. She's being mean because she's jealous—"_

_"I'm not jealous!" Quinn shrieked in outrage. "Why would I be jealous of Brittany?"_

_"Santana, really, it's fine. Just—"_

_"Yes, you are jealous! You're jealous because Brittany's pretty—"_

_"I'm prettier," Quinn scoffed._

_"Please, Santana, you don't have to—"_

_"And you're jealous because Brittany is happy and you're never happy because you don't know how to be happy. Newsflash, Q – you're not perfect."_

_Quinn shot back as if Santana had slapped her. Regret flashed in Santana's dark eyes, and Brittany could immediately tell that the feisty little Latina had taken it too far. Quinn was completely still for a moment before she lowered her head and looked at Santana with dead, emotionless hazel eyes._

_"Q, I'm sorry, I didn't…I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I really didn't. I'm sorry."_

_But even Brittany could see that the blonde was deeply hurt. Without responding, Quinn turned and walked away. Tears fell down Santana's anguished face and Brittany reached out to brush them away before moving to follow Quinn._

_Santana grabbed her hand. "Woah, where are you going?"_

_"To talk to Quinn."_

_Santana shook her head firmly. "No way. Nobody can go near her when she's like this, not even me. She'll hurt you if you try to talk to her and that will make her even worse because she won't mean to be mean but she will because it's her way of telling you that she's hurt and doesn't want to talk."_

_But Brittany gently pulled her hand out of Santana's grasp. "I need to talk to her. Trust me."_

_Santana opened her mouth to protest but Brittany was already walking towards Quinn, who had taken a seat on the bench and was staring at the ground, not a hint of expression or emotion on her perfect face._

_"Quinn? If I sit next to you, will you be mean to me?"_

_Quinn listlessly shook her head and Brittany took a seat next to the blonde._

_"I'm going to talk and you can just listen and nod your head since I know you don't want to talk. Okay?"_

_Quinn gave a small shrug and Brittany took it as a sign to go on._

_"I know why you were you were trying to scare me earlier. It's because Santana wanted to play with me, right? And I bet that scares you because you think she might like me more than you and end up leaving you."_

_Quinn hesitated before nodding._

_"I know you didn't mean to be mean, though. You only get mean when you're scared because it's kind of like your way of protecting yourself, right?"_

_Quinn nodded again, her eyes filling with tears._

_"I'm sorry," she whispered, and Brittany gave her a sweet smile._

_"Don't be sorry, Quinn. I'm not mad. I do want you to know something, though. I really like Santana. I think she's super cool and totally pretty and not like anybody I've ever met. I think she thinks the same things about me. Am I right?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"I knew it. Okay, so there. I like Santana and she likes me. And maybe if this whole thing works out, we'll be best friends. Maybe in time, even you and I could be best friends. But I've seen the way Santana looks at you and she totally loves you, Quinn. No matter what happens with me, you will always be number one for her, I think."_

_Quinn looked into Brittany's sweet blue eyes and Brittany could see all of the worry and fear drain out of the other girl._

_"Brittany?"_

_"Yeah, Quinn?"_

_"I want you to be with me and Santana. Like how me and S are always together? I want you with us now, too."_

_Brittany grinned. "Totally. Can I tell you something?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"I know we're not supposed to say it because Santana said we're not allowed to, but I think you're super pretty. Like totally the prettiest person I've ever seen. But not just on the outside; on the inside, too."_

_Quinn closed her eyes, taking in Brittany's words, and Brittany knew she had said the right thing and smiled._

_"Quinn?"_

_"Hmm?"_

_"Will you make up with Santana now?"_

_Quinn sighed and nodded. "Can you ask her to come over here?"_

_"Totally."_

_Twenty minutes later, order was restored and Brittany smiled at the sight of Santana and Quinn approaching her, holding hands._

_"Are you guys okay?"_

_Santana nodded, smiling. "Yeah, we're okay, Brittany. I heard you're going to be with us from now on."_

_Brittany beamed. "Totally. Is that okay?"_

_"Are you kidding? I've wanted that since the first day of school."_

_They smiled at each other and turned to Quinn, who had a small, close-mouthed smile settled on her lips, looking content at this new arrangement._

_"Q?" Santana asked. "Will you show Brittany your real smile?"_

_Brittany looked quizzically at Santana. "What do you mean? She's smiling right now, isn't she?"_

_"Yeah, she kind of is. But only very few people get to see her real smile." Santana turned to Quinn. "Will you show her, Q? Please?"_

_Quinn looked from Santana to Brittany, who offered her a shy and sweet smile. The blonde closed her eyes and let her expression go blank. When she opened them, they were more alive than Brittany had ever seen them, and completely filled with light. She pulled back her lips to reveal her perfect teeth and she smiled at Brittany, whose mouth dropped open._

_"Oh my god." Brittany was in awe. When Quinn Fabray smiled, she had the ability to make the world fall in love. She gazed at Quinn, who stood in front of her looking like an angel, but what made Brittany the happiest was that she could see that Quinn was smiling with her heart._

_"What'd you think, Brittany?" asked Santana. "Cool, right?"_

_Brittany nodded. "That was the best thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Like, nothing will ever be as good as watching that."_

_The three girls looked at each other. Slowly, Santana reached out to take Quinn's hand in one of hers and Brittany's hand in the other. Brittany and Quinn joined hands as well, and they stood in a circle, linked together._

_"Forever?" Santana said._

_Quinn and Brittany nodded and replied together._

_"Forever."_

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><p>As Brittany finished her story, she watched Beth ponder thoughtfully.<p>

"Brittany?" Beth asked finally.

"Hmm?"

"Do you miss Quinn?"

Brittany nodded, smiling sadly. "All the time," she replied truthfully.

"I do, too," Beth said. "It feels like there's something missing in my heart. That sounds dumb because I really only got to meet her once and that doesn't really count. And I really do love my mommy Shelby. But Quinn is my mother. And I really, really wish she was here."

Brittany kissed away the tears that spilled down the perfect little girl's face.

"I do, too, Baby B. I do, too."

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><p><strong>Do you guys want more flashbacks involving Quinn? I feel kind of bad for killing her off so early, because except for in her letters (which there will be more of in future chapters), you never really get to see her character development much. Would anyone be interested in more Quinn?<strong>

**Reviews are always appreciated! Thanks for reading.**


	10. Chapter 9

**Back from my trip! Thanks for the reviews you guys left me, they're always so lovely to read.**

**Hope this chapter was worth the wait! **

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><p>"San?"<p>

Santana looked up from her phone and smiled at Brittany from where she sat draped on the couch in the Lopez residence living room.

"Ssup, Britt?"

"Can we talk?"

"Of course. Always."

"No, like _really_ talk. Serious talk."

Santana took in Brittany's tone of voice and the way the blonde wouldn't make eye contact with her and immediately knew something was very wrong. She put her phone down on the coffee table and beckoned for Brittany to join her on the couch.

"Come here, Britt."

Brittany stood up from her chair and crossed the room, taking a seat next to Santana. Santana's concern grew when Brittany did not automatically cuddle up to her like the blonde always did when they sat together, and more warning bells went off in her head.

"Brittany," Santana said softly. "What's wrong?"

The blonde finally looked at Santana, and Santana's stomach dropped at the sight of tears welling up in Brittany's blue eyes.

"I miss Quinn," she whispered, the tears finally spilling over. Santana felt her heart break, and she sat motionless as Brittany wiped her eyes.

"In the letter Q wrote me," Brittany said in a shaking voice, "she asked me to take care of everyone for her. Mostly you and Puck and Rachel and Beth. I promised her I would, and I'm trying so hard to stay strong for her. She was always so brave, no matter what she did. I'm trying so, so hard to be the steady rock that everybody needs and that Q needs me to be."

More tears ran down Brittany's face as she continued. "But it's so hard to be the strong one all the time. Yesterday, Beth asked me to tell her a story about Quinn, so I told her about that day in first grade when we all became friends and when I went home later, I just sat in my house, not knowing what to do. I feel so sick and so numb all the time, but I have to keep a smile on my face. I have to, because if I don't, I'll fall apart. And I can't…I can't—"

Brittany's voice broke and Santana wrapped her arms around her and the blonde sucked in a shuddering breath and started to sob.

As Santana held Brittany, murmuring words of comfort to the crying girl, she realized something – it was the first time since the funeral, where everyone had cried, that she had seen Brittany break down over Quinn's death. The dancer had been so incredibly strong and so reassuring to everyone else that Santana had forgotten just how hard losing Quinn must have been on Brittany, too.

"Beth asked about you yesterday, you know," Brittany said, hiccupping and jolting Santana out of her thoughts. "I mean, she asks about how you're doing all the time, but yesterday she finally asked me why you don't go see her and spend time with her like the rest of us do."

Santana released her hold on Brittany, and the blonde could see guilt and regret shining in the Latina's eyes.

"You need to try with her," Brittany murmured gently. "We all try super hard. Puck tries, I try, even Rachel tries and you _know_ how hard that is for her because of Shelby. Beth needs you, San."

Santana felt tears stinging her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.

"She reminds me so much of Quinn, Britt," she whispered brokenly. "I know it's unfair to take that out on Beth and I love that little girl with everything I have, but I miss Q so fucking much. And right now, seeing Beth…it's like I'm five years old on the first day of kindergarten all over again."

"I know," Brittany said, smiling sadly. "It's hard for me, too. Sometimes Beth will raise her eyebrow at me, or say something in a certain tone of voice and in those moments, she reminds me so much of Quinn that it literally takes my breath away. But she's not Quinn. She's Beth, and she's growing up, and she needs you, San."

But Santana shook her head dully.

"She doesn't need me, Britt," she choked out. "She has Shelby for a mom and Puck for a dad. She has big sisters in you and Rachel, not to mention teachers when it comes to singing and dancing. What can I give her that she doesn't already have?"

Brittany's blue eyes were sad as she replied gently, "You're right. Shelby is an amazing mom to Beth, and Puck is working on building up a father-daughter relationship with her. Beth adores Rach and loves singing with her. She calls me her twin and begs me to show her dance moves all the time. But you can give her the one thing no one in the world can give her, San. You can give her Quinn."

Santana closed her eyes as Brittany continued, "There is no one who knew Quinn like you did, San. I was her Baby B, but _you_ were her best friend. Beth said it herself the day we met her; you are the one who reminds her of Q. You're the one who can be there for her when no one else can, because you're not her mom – that's Shelby. You're not an older sibling, or even a best friend. But you're someone who can connect her to her mother, and she needs that. She needs you, Santana. And I think deep down, past the hurt and the fear; you know you need her, too."

Brittany leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Santana's trembling lips.

"I know it hurts to be around Beth so soon after losing Q," she said. "But as soon as you open up your heart to her, that little girl is going to be what you need to heal the pain. She's your piece of Quinn, San. Don't let her grow up without you."

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><p>The next day, Beth was zipping up her backpack at the end of a busy day at camp when she heard a voice behind her.<p>

"Hey, baby girl."

Beth froze. Only two people in her life had ever called her baby girl. And one of them was Quinn.

She slowly turned around and looked up at Santana. Beth loved Santana with her whole heart and desperately wanted to spend more time with her, but she knew why the Latina had stayed distant since meeting her. So, even though Santana came over every Saturday night for dinner with the rest of their quirky little family unit, Beth still always felt slightly apprehensive and always automatically guilty around her.

"Santana?" she said. "Where's Mommy?"

"I asked her if I could pick you up today. Is that alright?"

Beth nodded hesitantly. "Are you taking me home?" she asked, and Santana shook her head.

"Nope; I'm taking you somewhere special. So grab your backpack and let's head out."

Eyes wide, Beth threw her backpack over her shoulders and followed Santana out of the building to the Latina's small red car. Beth crawled into the backseat and Santana buckled her in before climbing into the front and taking off. The Latina played soft music and hummed along as Beth stared out the window. They rode silently for 10 minutes before Santana suddenly took a sharp left and pulled into a small parking lot on the side of the road.

"Out of the car, B," Santana said, opening the car door for her. Beth scrambled out and looked around.

"Where are we?" she questioned, but Santana just took her hand and held it as they started to walk.

"You'll see."

After a few minutes of walking through trees, a small lake came into view. Beth could see ducks swimming lazily in the water and automatically wished she had something to feed them with. Santana caught the disappointed look on her face as the little girl saw the ducks, and grinned as she pulled a bag of bread crumbs and broken crackers out of her pocket.

"One step ahead of you, Beth. You're more like Brittany than you know."

Beth smiled up at her and, just like she did every time they locked eyes, Santana looked away. Feeling slightly dejected, Beth sighed quietly. She knew that she looked like Quinn, but the others had gotten used to it. Santana never looked into her eyes for more than a few seconds before looking away with a pained expression on her face.

They continued to walk around the lake until they came across an empty bench. Santana pointed to it, and Beth sat down. Santana took a seat beside her and they sat in silence for several minutes, Beth's feet swinging and dangling above the ground.

When Santana finally spoke, she didn't look at Beth; instead, she kept her eyes trained on the lake.

"This is where I took Quinn the day after she gave you up."

Beth's eyes widened.

"She was released from the hospital and when I picked her up, she said I could take her anywhere but home. So I took her here instead. It's somewhere I came all the time to feed the ducks with Brittany, and it was always somewhere I felt calm. We walked around the lake and sat on this bench together."

Beth watched tears start to fall down Santana's face, but the Latina's voice remained steady as she continued. "Q cried for awhile, and I let her. When she finally stopped, she told me that she wanted to die because she thought maybe dying might be less painful than having to live everyday, knowing that you were somewhere else…with someone else. I loved your mother so much, Beth, and I know she loved me, too. But she never loved anyone as much as she loved you."

Santana turned to face Beth, and took the little girl's hands in her own.

"I know that you know why I don't come over as much as Britt and Puck and Rachel do," she said. "Her eyes were my anchors, my safe havens, for more than 15 years and it hurts to look into your eyes and know they're not really Quinn's. I want you to know that I love you so much and I'm so sorry I haven't been making an effort with you. Bu that's going to change, starting now." She took a deep, shaking breath as she looked into Beth's innocent, intelligent hazel eyes. "I said it once before, Beth – you are my piece of Quinn, and I am always going to be there to be there for you, no matter what. I will protect you for your mother forever."

Beth, incredibly hyperaware and sensitive of other people's feelings for someone just six years old, looked deeply into Santana's dark eyes and saw a sadness in them that made her feel crushed and want to cry.

"I'm sorry I make you think of Quinn so much," she said, squeezing Santana's hands. "I have a best friend at school named Stella, and I would never want to lose her. I'm very sorry you lost my mother, Santana. But I know she must have loved you, because I am very much like her and I know that I love you."

Santana pulled Beth onto her lap and hugged the little girl tightly. Beth hugged her back and breathed in a familiar, nostalgic scent.

"You smell like Quinn," she mumbled into Santana's hair, and Santana nodded.

"We used to use the same perfume. I stopped wearing it, but I started using it again after she died. It makes me feel like she's not so far away fro me."

Beth breathed in again deeply and Santana heard her sigh contentedly. They remained in that position for several more long moments before Santana finally pulled back and looked at the little Quinn that sat on her lap.

"Can we say that Wednesdays are my day with you, now?"

Beth nodded eagerly. "Can we feed the ducks now?" she asked excitedly, and Santana laughed.

"Ay dios mio, clearly Brittany has been rubbing off on you too much. What do you say we bring her with us the next time we come here?"

"Yes! Give me the bread crumbs!"

Santana gave her the bag and watched Beth run to the water's edge, throwing food into the water and laughing delightedly as ducks began to swim towards her. She turned around and beckoned urgently for Santana to join her.

"Come on, S!"

Santana's heart skipped a beat; Quinn was the only one who ever called her S. Whether Beth had heard about that from someone else, or it was simply on instinct, Santana let the nostalgic feeling of hearing Quinn's old nickname wash over her. She smiled up at the sky.

"She is so beautiful, Q," she whispered. "Thank you for leaving her here for us to love."

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><p>A few weeks after starting first grade in the fall, Beth was assigned her first paper – she was to write a page about someone she admired. She didn't have to think twice before going home, whipping out paper and a pencil, and starting to write.<p>

_Why I Admire My Three Mothers_

_By: Beth Corcoran_

_I am not a normal little girl. I have a daddy and two big sisters. But I do not have just one mommy. I have three._

_My mommy Shelby adopted me when I was born. I admire her for opening up her heart and bringing me home with her. I love my mommy Shelby so much. She tries very hard to give me everything that I want. She is so loving and kind._

_My real mother Quinn died when I was four years old. Even though she had to give me away, she was so brave to do that and I admire her so much. She is my angel and watches over me and my daddy and my sisters. My mother Quinn was so beautiful, on the inside and out like my sister Rachel says, and I feel so proud when people tell me that I remind them of her._

_My third mother is my real-life angel Santana. She was my mother Quinn's best friend since they were five years old. She tells me everyday how much I am like Quinn and how happy that makes her. Santana took care of Mommy Quinn when they were growing up. She took care of my daddy Noah and my big sisters Rachel and Brittany. And now, she takes care of me. Santana has so much love her in heart and I am so lucky that some of it is for me. Santana tells me stories about Quinn and helps me to not forget about her. I only got a little bit of time with my mother before she died, but Santana makes me feel close to her again. She always tells me that everything she does is Quinn acting through her, but I know that it's really because she loves me and the people in our family so much._

_My three mothers are the best people in the world besides my daddy and my sisters. Noah and Brittany and Rachel are all teaching me things and helping me grow up. My mommy Shelby gives me everything she can, from books and toys to love and care. Quinn is my angel and makes me feel safe because I know that she is watching over me. But, as Noah says, Santana is the one who will always stand between me and the world. I am so lucky to have them all._

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><p><strong>And there it is - finally, some Santana and Beth. Reviews are always, always welcomed and appreciated.<strong>

**Love to you all who are reading and sticking with me! **


	11. Chapter 10

**PLEASE READ - Hi, guys! To avoid confusion, I'm going to explain what I'll be doing with the story from here on out.**

**From this point on, I'm going to be doing some time hops. For example, in the last chapter, Beth was six and now she's 10. I will make the ages of the characters very clear and if anyone is ever confused, please let me know! **

**One other quick thing. If any of you have ideas for the story or suggestions/etc., please PM them to me! I already have the final chapter of this story written out; now, I can take my time with the time hops before I feel like I've let it go on long enough, so I would love love love to write out what you guys want to read.**

**Alright, onto the chapter. This is very Beth-centric, because you've never really seen her deal with Quinn's death. Starting next chapter, I will begin to write out flashbacks of moments between Quinn and her friends, because that seemed to be a popular idea. More letters from Quinn are also on the way.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>In fifth grade and at 10 years old, Beth was very aware that she did not have a normal, conventional family like most of her friends did.<p>

For example, her best friend Stella lived with her mom, her dad, and her little brother. Her friend Griffin lived with his single dad, because his mom had died when he was four. Even a girl in her class named Brooke who had two gay dads, and another boy named Luke who went back and forth between his divorced parents still had a more common family situation than Beth did.

Yes, Beth knew that her family situation was highly unheard of and confusing to most people she met.

She had her mom, of course. Beth loved Shelby with her whole heart and would always be grateful to the woman for adopting her. Because it was the just the two of them living in their house together, Beth and Shelby were very close. They were almost always open and honest with each other, and Beth knew that Shelby tried her hardest to provide Beth with everything she needed.

Thanks to Shelby's joy as a high school choir and glee director, Beth was in the midst of growing up in a world of song and dance. Whether it was doing her homework in the auditorium while her mom's students sang in the background, or attending glee competitions with the team on the weekends when no one was available to watch Beth, the little girl was already very well-versed in the world of show choir, glee club, and musical theater.

Of course, she had Rachel to thank for that as well. Beth adored her adopted sister and was just as excited as everyone else when the brunette diva landed her role as Fanny Brice in Broadway's revival of _Funny Girl_. Shelby took Beth to New York to see Rachel perform on her opening night, and it was one of the most magical nights of Beth's life. Rachel had been giving her singing lessons since she was six and Beth had grown up listening to the sound of Rachel's voice, but seeing her older sister on stage for the first time was something Beth knew she would never forget. While she didn't get to see Rachel as much as she saw the others, due to her sister living in New York, Beth still loved her fiercely. She and Rachel called each other big sis and little sis.

Beth had another older sister figure in Brittany. The little brunette was completely in love with the tall blonde dancer. Shortly after meeting Brittany and establishing their Baby B connection, Beth had started to call Brittany her twin and had continued to do so as their relationship grew. After meeting Beth and spending the entire summer in Lima, Brittany had decided to drop out of MIT, move back to home, and open her own dance studio. She now ran classes six days a week, some of which Beth attended. However, Brittany also taught the little girl privately and was incredibly proud of how naturally talented Beth was turning out to be. She affectionately still used the nickname that Quinn had christened them both with, and referred to Beth as Baby B. In true Quinn fashion, Beth wasn't huge on physical affection – Brittany was the only person she would reliably cuddle with. Of all the people who had joined her life after Quinn died, Beth saw Brittany the most.

Then there was Puck, whom, like Rachel, Beth called Noah. Because he had been a part of Beth's life almost since she was born, the little brunette felt completely comfortable around him and confidently viewed Puck as her father. Puck went back and forth between Lima and LA, constantly chasing after a new project, whether it was expanding the pool cleaning business he now managed, or back-up singing/playing for Mercedes whenever she called him down to California. However, no matter where he was, he never failed to be there for Beth. He was at nearly all of her dance recitals, and the ones he couldn't be at, Shelby filmed for him so that he could watch. Their father-daughter bond was very strong, and Puck constantly thanked his lucky stars that he got to be such a big part of his little girl's life.

After the day at the pond during that first summer, Santana had become a shining light in Beth's life. She, much like Puck, went back and forth between New York for Rachel and work, and Lima for Brittany and Beth. Santana had never missed a dance show or school play that Beth was in. She called the little brunette everyday that she couldn't be with her in person, whether it was to say goodnight, ask about how a test in school went, or simply have a five-minute conversation just to check in. To Beth, Santana was more than just another big sister, or a second mom.

Beth had special bonds and connections with all of the adults in her life, but she had something extra with Santana – they were each other's living reminders of the mother and best friend they had both lost. For Santana, Beth was her little Quinn. As she got older, Beth continued to look more and more like her birth mother. At times, though the occurrences were rare, it was still hard for Santana to be near Beth without feeling a dull ache in her chest. As much as the little girl reminded her of Quinn, Santana would always know deep down that she had lost her real blonde. However, those times were few and for the most part, Santana felt nothing but love and joy around Beth.

For Beth, Santana was the closest thing she would ever have to Quinn. Santana never failed to comply with Beth's requests of stories about Quinn. The Latina had even given Beth one of Quinn's old sweatshirts that the blonde had once left at her house, which, because it was so oversized, Beth now wore constantly around the house. Santana gave Beth the connection to her birth mother that she wanted so desperately, and likewise Beth gave Santana the connection to her best friend that she needed to heal her pain. Just as Santana had called Quinn by her initial, she called Beth B and the little girl called her S.

So, Beth was not blind to the fact that her family was unlike anyone else's. However, she never once let that bother her and wouldn't have traded the adults in her life for anyone or anything. They each gave her something special, and she wouldn't have had it any other way.

* * *

><p>Griffin James was in love with Beth Corcoran.<p>

Sure, he was only 10 years old. But he knew that he loved Beth. They had been in class together since kindergarten, and all he knew was that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He also thought she was super smart, sweet, funny, and had felt that way since the first time he saw her on the first day of kindergarten.

They weren't best friends – Stella St. Claire was Beth's best friend – but they were good friends, and that was enough for Griffin. He loved joking around with Beth and enjoyed the time he spent at her house on play dates, especially when any of her extended family members were there.

Yes, Griffin was aware of Beth's odd family predicament, but that mattered not to him. The fact that she had a mom, a birth mother angel, two sisters, a dad, and a…whatever Santana was just made Beth that much cooler in his book. He had an angel of his own; his mom had passed away when he was four, so he understood how hard not having a real mom around was for Beth.

He liked to think that gave them a special connection.

It was exactly why he knew just what to say to Beth when he found her crying during recess one day.

"Ssup, Beth?"

Beth looked up at the sound of Griffin's voice, hazel eyes flashing, but relaxed as soon as she saw that it was him.

"Hey, Griff," she replied quietly. Griffin took a seat next to her, and gently bumped her shoulder.

"You wanna talk?"

Beth wiped her eyes. "Tomorrow is Quinn's birthday," she said, smiling sadly through her tears. "It's hard every year, but I never really know how to deal with it."

"Can I put my arm around you?" he asked her, with full knowledge that sometimes she couldn't stand being touched and she nodded, appreciating his effort to ask first. Griffin put his arm around Beth and looked out at the playground full of happy, busy kids.

"We're not like them," he mused. "They're all totally happy and carefree. Well, no. That's not true. Everybody has problems. But they'll never know what it feels like to lose and grow up without their moms. It's hard for me and Dad to deal with Mom's birthday every year, too. You wanna know what I do when I miss her?"

Beth nodded and Griffin continued.

"I go visit her grave. I love Dad, but sometimes I need to talk to Mom. He drives me to the cemetery and camps out in the car with his newspaper while I sit with Mom and tell her everything. I also write her tons of letters throughout the year, every time I need to talk to her or tell her something, and then on her birthday, Dad helps me burn the letters and we spread the ashes in places that Mom loved to go to, like the park or in the garden."

Beth looked into Griffin's warm brown eyes and he smiled sweetly at her.

"I understand, Beth," he said simply. "I know you love Shelby, but Quinn was your mom, too."

More tears welled up in Beth's eyes. Griffin was right; he _did_ understand. She rested her head on his shoulder and he gave her a squeeze. They remained in that position until the bell rang, signaling the end of recess. Griffin stood up and offered Beth his hand. She smiled up at him and accepted his help to stand. He reached out and wiped out the last few tears from her face, and she caught his hand, gently squeezing it.

"Thank you, Griff," she said softly. "Next time you visit your mom, tell her she gave birth to a wonderful boy."

Griffin gave her a dopey grin as they began to walk back to their classroom.

Yep, it was official. He loved Beth Corcoran.

* * *

><p>The next morning, thankfully a Saturday, Beth walked into Shelby's room and stood in the door frame.<p>

"Mom? Can I ask you something?"

Shelby looked up from the novel she was reading and smiled at her daughter. "Of course," she said, closing the book and patting the bed. "Come join."

Beth scrambled onto the bed and sat with Shelby. "You know what today is, right?" she asked, in a serious tone of voice.

Shelby nodded. She knew.

"I want to visit Quinn's grave. And I'm very sorry because you know I love you so much, but you can't come. I don't want it to be weird for you. I want Santana to take me. I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings."

But Shelby only nodded in understanding. "Beth, you know I never question your relationship with Quinn or Santana," she said, and it was the truth. Shelby knew her daughter shared a bond with Santana, just like she knew that Beth still felt a very special connection to her birth mother. She was completely supportive of everything Beth did, and this was no exception.

Beth looked relieved and gave Shelby a hug. "Thanks, Mom," she said. "I'm going to call Santana now, okay?"

"Okay, honey."

Two hours later, Beth stood in front of Quinn's grave with Santana sitting beneath a tree roughly 50 feet away. A solid distance so that she wouldn't be able to hear what Beth was saying, but close enough for her to keep an eye on the little brunette.

Beth stared down at the marble headstone. She had never visited before.

LUCY QUINN FABRAY

Feb. 1, 1994 – June 7, 2015

_"It is by suffering that human beings become angels."_

Beth sat down in front of the headstone and traced the letters of her mother's name.

"Hi, Mommy," she said softly. Beth had outgrown calling Shelby Mommy a long time ago. It was a now a name she reserved strictly for Quinn. "Happy birthday. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to come and visit."

She finished tracing Quinn's name and moved onto her birth and death dates.

"I really miss you," she continued. "Even though I didn't get to spend much time with you, I miss you and every single day something happens that I wish I could tell you about." She started to trace the quote written on Quinn's head stone. "This is a beautiful quote. Noah always says that you are our angel, especially mine, and I know that you suffered a lot when you were here so I'm glad that you're an angel now."

Beth sighed. "I'm so confused sometimes, Mommy. I love Shelby so much, but she's not you. I know she's my mom and I appreciate her so much. But I really wish you were still alive. Would things be different?" she mused. "Maybe. I would probably feel even more confused than I do now. But that will never stop me from wishing you could be part of my life."

She felt tears beginning to sting her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. "Thank you for leaving me with Santana and Rachel and Brittany and Noah," Beth went on as she played with the flowers that were growing next to the grave. "I love them all with my whole heart. Especially Santana. Sometimes, even though I'm just a kid and she's a grown-up, I worry about her, Mommy. She still misses you so much, and I can see it in her eyes whenever we talk about you. But she is so brave and so protective all the time. Sometimes I forget that she gets hurt, too."

Santana felt her heart constrict as she watched Beth talking to her mother. She saw the little girl start to cry and forced herself to stay where she was and keep her distance.

"I remember that day I came to see you in the hospital, you know," Beth said, wiping her eyes as tears fell down her face. "I remember sitting on your lap and laughing with you and Noah while we talked. It was the only time the three of us really got to be a real, true family. I wish we had gotten more time together. I know that Noah does, too. I caught him looking at a picture of you and crying once. I wish that I could do something to help all the people you left behind. They all still miss you so much, Mommy, and I know that sometimes being around me makes it harder for them."

Beth started to sob, and Santana felt wrecked. Despite the fact that Beth was incredibly mature for a ten year-old, that didn't matter – she was still a little girl and she missed her mom. Santana knew that, very much like Quinn, Beth could only handle so much emotion before completely breaking down, and that the sound of heart-wrenching sobs meant it was time to go.

"Hey, B?" she called out, pretending not to notice that Beth was crying. "You almost ready to go?"

"Yes," Beth choked out. "I'll meet you at the car."

Santana nodded and started to make her way out of the cemetery. As she passed Beth, she kissed the girl on her forehead and dropped a white gardenia she had brought with her at the foot of Quinn's headstone.

"Miss you, Q," she murmured before walking away. Beth toyed with the gardenia before looking back at the marble grave.

"Despite knowing sometimes it's hard for Brittany and Noah and Santana and Rachel, I never feel anything but proud when people tell me how much I look and act like you. I love you so much and I wish you were here. But you're not, so all I can do is hope that you're watching over me. All I will ever want is to make you proud. I love you. Happy birthday, Mommy."

Beth kissed her fingers, gently touched her mother's headstone, and walked back to the car. By the time she climbed into the backseat, she had stopped crying. Santana turned around before starting the car and looked into Beth's familiar hazel eyes that she knew so well.

"You okay, baby girl?" she asked, and Beth nodded.

"Yeah, S. I'm okay."

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><p><strong>Next up? Flashbacks, perhaps starting with Santana and Quinn? Let me know what you guys think.<strong>

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews, they are always appreciated and you guys are all such sweeties xoxo**


	12. Chapter 11

**Hi, everyone! Time hop time. This is nearly all Santana/Quinn with some side Brittana. As promised, you guys get your first set of flashbacks so here you go! **

**Make sure you pay attention the ages of the girls during the flashbacks - they aren't in order, but I think I made it very easy to tell how old they are. Apologies if I didn't! **

**This chapter takes place one year after Quinn dies.**

**Enjoy :) **

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><p><em>"You look pretty today, Q," a six year-old Santana said to Quinn when they walked into their classroom on the first day of first grade.<em>

_"Thanks."_

_Santana frowned at Quinn's weird tone of voice and saw a burst of emotion flash across Quinn's face. In fact, if she thought about it, Quinn got that look every time Santana complimented her. She tilted her head at the blonde and studied her expression closely._

_Quinn raised her eyebrow; her signature move even at six. "What?" she asked. "Why are you looking at me like that?"_

_Santana was silent for a moment and then spoke._

_"I bet people tell you all the time how pretty you are, don't they?"_

_Quinn nodded, and Santana saw the flash again and knew her assumptions were correct._

_"You don't like that. I can tell."_

_Quinn bit her lip and Santana saw hesitation and fear in Quinn's hazel eyes._

_"My daddy makes a really big deal out of it all the time to everybody we meet." Quinn dropped her voice to a whisper. "He always tells me and everybody else how perfect I am. I hate it."_

_Santana searched the blonde girl's gaze and the amount of sadness she saw in her hazel eyes made something in her heart ache._

_She gave Quinn a genuine smile. "Okay. I won't do that anymore. Make a big deal out it, I mean. I won't let anybody else do it here, either."_

_Quinn gazed down at Santana. "Thanks, S," she said shyly._

_Santana bit her lip in an effort not to smile and nodded._

_"Best friends, right?"_

_Quinn nodded. "Best friends," she confirmed, looking around the classroom. "Where do you want to sit?"_

_Santana followed her gaze and her dark eyes landed on two desks in the middle of the room. She pointed to them._

_"Those two. That way, everybody will see us and know who we are."_

_Quinn nodded her approval, and Santana studied the taller girl. She reminded Santana of one of her abuela's cats – pretty with long silky fur (or hair in Quinn's case) but not friendly to anyone she didn't trust. However, for some reason, Quinn had chosen to trust Santana, and something in Santana knew that the crazily pretty and shiny and scared girl deserved her trust in return. There was something about Quinn and the sadness in her eyes that made Santana want to hurt everyone who had ever hurt her._

_She tugged Quinn's braid lightly. "But seriously, you are so pretty, Q."_

_Quinn smiled and shrugged. "I know that. You're really pretty, too."_

_Together, the two girls walked over to the desks they had chosen for themselves. Quinn sat down, but Santana remained standing, examining the room. By that time, the majority of the room was filled with children and Santana knew if she was going to say something, she had to say it now before their teacher came in._

_She turned to Quinn and locked eyes with her._

_"Trust me?"_

_Quinn's eyes widened slightly in confusion, but she nodded and Santana climbed onto her desk, standing tall in the middle of the room._

_"Everybody, listen to me!"_

_All the children in the room turned to look at her and fell silent. Santana cleared her throat and pointed to Quinn._

_"See her? That's Quinn, and I'm Santana. If you hurt Quinn, I will hurt you back. Nobody touches her. Got that?"_

_They all nodded their heads. Whoever Santana was, she was incredibly scary and fierce-looking. Not a single child in the room doubted her words._

_Quinn leveled her gaze and swept it across the room, raising her eyebrow in a challenge._

_"Same. If you hurt Santana, I'll hurt you, too. Not in the same way Santana will, but I'll be mean to you. Really, really mean."_

_Everyone in the room stared at Quinn. She was without a doubt the prettiest girl any of them had ever seen. She was so pretty, she almost didn't seem real. Santana could tell that all of the attention was making Quinn uncomfortable and she snapped her fingers, drawing everyone's gaze back to her._

_"One more thing. I know Quinn is really pretty, but don't talk about it. We all know she's pretty so there's no reason for anyone to say it again."_

_The tone and finality of the words Santana spoke were enough to make the other children nod, all with wide eyes. Santana nodded her approval at their silence and swept her gaze across the room._

_"We're in charge. Don't mess with us and we won't mess with you."_

_With that, Santana flounced back to her desk next to Quinn and took a seat. The classroom door opened and their teacher walked in, introducing herself as Ms. Walker. As the woman began to explain how first grade would work, Quinn shot Santana a smile – a real smile – and Santana smiled back. Both girls had come to school alone that day but knew that would never been the case again._

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><p><em>"Find Q. She's sad."<em>

_Brittany's words echoed in Santana's mind as she made her way through the deserted McKinley halls, the silence of after-school emptiness slightly creeping her out. Most of the student body had gone home for the day; the only ones that remained were on teams or in clubs that met once class was over. She and Quinn had been on icy, close-to nonspeaking terms for months now. Somewhere in the middle of the blonde's pregnancy, Quinn had begun to shut everyone out and eventually Santana, hurt and confused, gave up trying with her. The two best friends had begun to fight and it threw off the balance of glee club and Cheerios, and no one, not even Brittany, knew how to handle it. Eventually, both had settled into a stony silence around one another; a silence that was just barely beginning to lift._

_Santana still felt rather apprehensive around Quinn, but Brittany had demanded she find the blonde and refused to take no for an answer._

_"But Britt," Santana had protested. "If Quinn's sad, even if she does let me help her, which she won't, I'm sure I'm the last person who could make it better."_

_Brittany gave Santana a look of skepticism. "You and Q could go 50 years without talking and you would still know her better than anyone on the planet," she countered, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrow at Santana, who groaned. The eyebrow was a trick Brittany had picked up from Quinn. "She's your best friend, Santana."_

_"Not right now. You're my only best friend, Britt," Santana tried. But it sounded lame, even to her._

_Brittany shook her head. "You don't really believe that," she said. "Fix it. Go find her."_

_And that's how Santana found herself stepping into the quiet Cheerio's locker room twenty minutes later. It appeared empty, but Santana knew that if Quinn was hiding out anywhere in school, it was the locker room. She walked straight to the back where Quinn's locker was and sure enough, there was the blonde, sitting on a bench and staring down at a picture she held, with tears running down her face._

_Santana's heart ached at the sight, but she steeled herself and marched straight up to the head Cheerio._

_"Okay. Intervention time," she announced firmly, and Quinn nearly fell off the bench in shock. As soon as she saw that it was Santana, her hazel eyes narrowed._

_"Leave me alone, Santana," she muttered, but Santana shook her head._

_"No can do, captain," Santana said. "I've been sent her on Brittany's orders and we both know that neither of us can deny her what she wants, so get up. We're going to take a little walk."_

_Quinn remained seated on the bench, her back rigid and her expression guarded. "I appreciate what Brittany is trying to do, but you can go, Santana. I'm fine and I don't need you."_

_Santana gave Quinn a look of disdain. "You're seriously going to try and pull that shit with me? Of all people? That's pathetic, Quinn." If the blonde was going to full-name her, Santana would fire right back. "We may not be on the best terms right now, but for Christ's sake – I'm your best friend. If you don't need me, who do you need?"_

_Quinn refused to respond or move, and wouldn't make eye contact with Santana. The Latina sighed, frustrated, and threw her hands up in the air._

_"I'm trying here, Quinn," she spat out. "But if you don't want me, I'll just see myself out."_

_She whirled around and marched out of the locker room, about to return to the glee club meeting when she heard Brittany's words in her head again._

_"Find Q. She's sad."_

_Brittany seemed to be the only one Quinn would open up to these days and if the dancer couldn't make Quinn feel better, Santana knew that something was seriously wrong. She ran her hands through her hair, groaned, and walked back into the locker room. Quinn was in the same position, her back turned to Santana._

_The Latina knew that Quinn would continue to refuse her efforts, so, after hesitating momentarily, she decided to pull the one card that she knew would work without fail._

_"Come with me," she coaxed gently. "Come on, Tinker Bell."_

_Santana saw Quinn's shoulders slump in defeat and she knew it had worked._

_When Santana and Quinn were six years old, they had watched Peter Pan together for the first time together after school one day. Santana had immediately donned herself Tiger Lily, the raven-haired Native American princess, and told Quinn that she was Tinker Bell, the sassy blonde fairy. The two girls had the proceeded to go through a phase in which they had only called each other by those names. Of course, they had long since grown out of that phase, and only jokingly used the nicknames once in awhile. But Santana knew that even now, it was the one thing that would soften Quinn in a moment like this._

_Quinn finally met Santana gaze, and Santana saw a world of emotion swirling in the blonde's hazel eyes._

_"Walk with me, Tink," she murmured, and Quinn nodded reluctantly, following Santana out of the locker room._

_As they walked slowly through the quiet halls of the school, Santana took Quinn's hand and laced their fingers together._

_"Talk to me, Q," she said softly. "I know things have been fucked up between us for awhile now, but you know that doesn't change almost 12 years of memorizing each other inside and out. Like it or not, I know you, Quinn. So talk to me."_

_Quinn was silent for a moment before she finally spoke, keeping her eyes focused on the long hallway that stretched out in front of them._

_"It's my dad's birthday tomorrow," the blonde said, without a hint of emotion in her voice. "Mom told me that we won't be doing anything to celebrate it, obviously, not that we would even if he still lived with us. She keeps asking me if I'm okay and pretends that she is, even though I can tell how upset she gets about it sometimes."_

_Santana remained silent as Quinn talked. She was very aware of the extremely damaged relationship that the blonde had with her father. The man had been mentally abusing Quinn for years, and it was only a couple months ago that Quinn's mother had finally taken a stand, divorced Russel Fabray, kicked him out of the house, and asked Quinn to move back home. They were now working on rebuilding a tentative mother-daughter relationship, which seemed to be going well according to Brittany. But Santana knew that Quinn's father would never be a part of her life again._

_"I don't know why I care," Quinn continued. "I mean, he was an awful father to me most of the time, always yelling at me, pushing me, and expecting more from me than I could ever deliver. He made me feel unloved. When he kicked me out for getting pregnant, he told me that no one could ever possibly love me again after what I had done. Who says that to their daughter? But…" The blonde bit her lip, tears welling up in her eyes. She started to get choked up, but Santana could see her forcing herself to go on. "I can still remember the way he used to play with me and hug me and call me his little princess. I guess I just…I just miss having a dad."_

_Santana could tell that Quinn was about two seconds away from breaking down, so she led the blonde over to the wall, sat on the floor leaning against the wall, and pulled Quinn down next to her._

_"It's okay to cry, Q," she said gently, and that's all it took for Quinn to start sobbing._

_Santana knew how Quinn felt about touchy-feely stuff, especially at times like this, so she simply tightened the hold she had on Quinn's hand and let her cry. Quinn was so incredibly broken on the inside and listening to her cry for the first time in months, Santana felt guilty all over again for giving up on her and abandoning the blonde perhaps when she needed her the most. It was something Santana would never forgive herself for._

_"You know, Q," she said after awhile. "I know your dad has always kind of made you feel like if you aren't perfect, you can't be loved. And I know you're scared that everything he used to say about you is true. But it's not. Nobody is perfect, Quinn, not even you. And that's okay. Human beings are flawed. You are flawed. But that doesn't matter, because you are so loved by so many people."_

_Quinn lifted her head and looked at Santana. "Am I?" she whispered, and Santana was taken away by how beautiful she still looked, despite the tears in her eyes._

_"Get up, Q," she said, and pulled Quinn up, leading her down the hall and to the choir room._

_"Look through the window on the door," she demanded. "What do you see?"_

_She watched Quinn peer into the choir room. Inside, the glee club was holding their meeting. Rachel was raptly explaining something to the group. Kurt looked affectionately exasperated, Mercedes was rolling her eyes, Brittany was listening closely, bright-eyed, and Finn looked enraptured. Mr. Schue was taking notes on the whiteboard as Rachel spoke. She said something, Artie replied, and everyone in the room, including Rachel, burst out laughing. Tina and Mike sat close together, smiling at each other, and Puck and Sam were tickling Sugar from both sides. Blaine and Joe were discussing something excitedly in the back of the room._

_"What do you see, Q?" Santana asked again, and Quinn turned to face her, a tiny smile beginning to form on her lips._

_"Our family," she murmured, and Santana nodded._

_"That's right," she confirmed. "Those dorky, singing, half-crazed nerds are our family. And every single one of them loves you. The Cheerios may be scared shitless of you, but they love you. Your mom loves you. God, Sue Sylvester probably even loves you, if she's capable of feeling love," Santana chuckled, and Quinn's smile grew. Santana cupped Quinn's face with her hands._

_"They all love you," she said gently. "And I do, too. I have since I was five years old and I will for the rest of my life. You are loved, Quinn Fabray. You are lovable, and you are loved."_

_Santana went up on her tip toes and pressed a very gentle, feather-light kiss to Quinn's lips. She stepped back, brushed away Quinn's tears, and smirked._

_"You ready to go join the nerds?" she asked, and Quinn laughed, nodding. Santana reached out and caught Quinn's arm just before she turned away to open the door._

_"Are we good, Q?" she asked, searching Quinn's eyes – her hazel safe havens – and Quinn nodded._

_"Yeah, S. We're good."_

_Quinn smiled at her, then – really smiled – and Santana felt her heart flutter. She had her blonde back._

_Life was good._

* * *

><p><em>Finally, they'd made it to eighth grade graduation.<em>

_The eighth graders all stood in the hallway outside of the auditorium, waiting for their cue to start marching in two-by-two. Even though it was only middle school graduation and they would all be moving onto the high school together in the fall, it was still incredibly exciting for them._

_Santana, clad in a dark blue dress, stood with Brittany and leaned against the wall. The blonde was dressed up in a bright pink dress._

_"This is it, Britt. Are you excited?"_

_Brittany nodded enthusiastically. "I'm so happy we're graduating, San! Are you parents here?"_

_"Yep, yours?"_

_"Totally. Mommy cried this morning and told me she was proud of me."_

_"Aw Britt, that's so nice. I'm proud of you, too."_

_"Thanks, San."_

_At the moment, someone called out to Brittany and she glanced at Santana, who nodded. Brittany gave her a sweet smile before skipping over to the girl who had called her to see what she wanted. Santana watched her go, an affectionate smile dancing on her lips._

_It had been temporarily questionable if Brittany would graduate or not. She was so incredibly spacey and often let her mind wander during class, rather than pay attention to the lessons. But Quinn and Santana had worked with her relentlessly until the blonde was completely caught up with all of her studies. They helped her with homework and tutored her for hours until the information was stuck like glue to Brittany's brain. The three of them had worked hard for this moment and Santana couldn't have been prouder of them._

_Suddenly, a hand on her shoulder interrupted her thoughts. She turned to see a girl named Nicole standing behind her, a concerned look on her face._

_"Ssup, Nic?"_

_"Code red. Quinn's crying in the bathroom. I walked in, heard her, walked right back out, and came straight here."_

_The other children were not blind to Quinn's issues. Even at age 13, Quinn was beautiful but because of her father and his obsession with how perfect he demanded she be all the time, she despised the way she looked. Santana had made it a rule that their classmates weren't allowed to talk about how pretty Quinn was and they were always wary around her, because they never quite knew what would set her off and bring out her mean streak. Whenever Quinn was in a fragile state or did anything that registered as out of the ordinary, whoever noticed it immediately told Santana. She was really the only one who could deal with the unpredictable blonde._

_Santana's warning bells instantly went of at Nicole's words, and she nodded. "Okay, thanks. I'm on it. Tell Brittany where I am?"_

_"Sure."_

_Santana thanked her and took off towards the bathroom. She quietly pushed the door open and listened for the tell-tale sounds of someone crying, but all she heard was silence. She walked into the bathroom and saw that the stall at the far end was closed._

_She knew almost immediately what the problem was; the fact that Quinn was hiding in the stall instead of looking in the mirror was a dead giveaway. Her dad must have really told her mom to dress her up for the special occasion, to the point where Quinn didn't even want to be seen by anyone in fear of attracting too much attention._

_She called out softly to her best friend. "Q? How bad is it?"_

_There was a pause before Quinn replied in an emotionless voice. "It's bad."_

_"Can I see?"_

_"Are you alone?"_

_"You know I am."_

_Slowly, the stall door opened and Quinn stepped out, and Santana physically had to restrain her jaw from dropping._

_Quinn was wearing a black velvet dress that stopped just above her knees and swished around her legs when she moved. It went perfectly with her black satin ballet slipper-style flats. Her hair had been brushed to a silky-looking shine, and was parted to the side and clipped away from her face with a dark red bow. Her lips, which were coated with dark red lipstick to match her bow, stood out against her ivory skin. The contrast between her pale complexion and the extreme colors was made her appear so strikingly beautiful, Santana couldn't tear her gaze away._

_But this was Quinn she was dealing with, and Santana snapped out of her trance after several seconds. She knew how uncomfortable Quinn must be and that made something inside of her ache._

_"Can I touch you, Q?"_

_Santana and Brittany always asked before they touched Quinn, because they knew how the blonde was about touchy-feely stuff. But Quinn nodded, giving Santana permission._

_The little Latina stepped closer to her best friend, and reached a hand up to run a finger down Quinn's cheek. Quinn closed her eyes at the contact._

_"Open your eyes, Q, and look at me."_

_Quinn's hazel eyes found Santana's dark brown ones as the shorter girl spoke. "You look flawless, Q. So pretty it's unfair. And yeah, everybody's going to look at you. But it'll only last a couple seconds because they all know it's not allowed. So let them have their little look and then it'll be over."_

_Quinn's bottom lip trembled. "I don't want to walk out there, S. I don't want to see Daddy afterwards. Mom did her best to keep him away while she helped me get ready, but he kept coming into the room and wouldn't stop saying how pretty I looked and how all eyes were going to be on me and how I better not mess this day up."_

_Santana put a finger to Quinn's quivering lips. "Don't cry, Tinker Bell. It's going to be okay, I promise. Your mom will keep your dad in check, plus Britt and I both told our parents to stick with yours just in case. If he starts to go overboard, someone will change the subject."_

_"Promise?"_

_"Have I ever lied to you?"_

_Quinn shook her head. Santana took one of Quinn's hands and brought it up to her lips, pressing a kiss her knuckles._

_"I know it'll be hard for you to fake being relaxed and happy out there and that you'll do the half-smile, but can I get a real smile before we go back out there?"_

_Quinn smiled for her best friend, and it was so unfair that the rest of the world would never know how truly beautiful Quinn could look when she let her face light up like that. Santana took a mental snapshot of her best friend and knew she'd remember how Quinn looked in that moment for her entire life. She pulled Quinn into a quick hug, something they rarely did, before taking her hand and leading them back into the hall._

* * *

><p>"San…Santana, wake up."<p>

"Quinn?" Santana awoke with a jolt, frightened and confused. "Quinn!" she shrieked, starting to sob.

Brittany sat up and wrapped her arms around Santana, who cried into her shoulder. The blonde stroked Santana's long dark hair and murmured comforting words to the distressed girl.

"Quinn dream again?" she asked gently.

"They're not dreams," Santana said miserably. "They're nightmares. They're memories of me and Q that makes me forget she's gone. Then I wake up and I'm right back in reality and it feels like I'm being stabbed with fucking glass. I hate them, Britt. I hate them."

Brittany shushed her and nodded in agreement. "I got them, too," she confessed. "For awhile after Q died."

Santana pulled away from Brittany and wiped her eyes. "I still get them once in awhile, and they're awful every single time. It's been a year, Britt, and I still feel just as broken about losing her as I did the day I found out she was gone. I miss her every single day. Every single fucking day, I miss Quinn so much it makes me sick."

"But that's normal, San," Brittany said softly. "You're okay. You're going to be okay. I promise."

Santana sighed, kissed Brittany, and walked out of the bedroom, no doubt to cry in private. Seconds later, Brittany heard the bathroom door click shut and she reached for her phone, dialing a number and waiting for it to start ringing.

"Hello?" Puck's voice was groggy with sleep.

"It's time, Puck." Brittany said, and heard him sigh heavily.

"She's ready for another one?" he asked.

"She needs it," Brittany confirmed. "She's ready."

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, clarification time to anybody who is confused - Remember, I'm doing time hops and I'm jumping back and forth, so this chapter takes place one year after Quinn dies. The main characters are all 22, Beth is 6.<strong>

**Next up? Santana gets another letter and then we check in with Brittany, Rachel, and Puck. **

**Hope you liked it, reviews are always loved! And please please tell me if this time hop thing is too confusing, and I'll figure out a way to fix it. Thank you! **


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